Friday, April 29, 2011

Folie a deux: A maness shared between two

Part deux of this craziness. Personally, I can't wait until its over and we can get back to important issues like gas prices, war, and when Uncle Karl will be making me in chocolate. I wait with baited breath.

Stealing from one of my favorite blogs, Tom and Lorenzo, they did a whole thing on hats. Zara Phillips, daughter of Princess Anne, is my most favorite royal - its true. She, like Harry, is a badass and was bff with Wills back in the day. She's had royal hiccups too - including boyfriend issues and is now engaged to a rugby player but looks like he is a boxer. His nose is seriously on the wrong side of his face. Because she is Princess Anne's daughter, she holds no royal title but is like #16 in line for the throne. Ahhh...reminds me of that movie with John Goodman, King Ralph. So good.

I just liked this photo of Vicky Becks. She seriously could kill you with her bare breasts and she has no apology for it. Sorry I'm not sorry.

Another picture of TP-T.

Even the coat is amazing, but honey, lighten up on the eyeliner/mascara. Its like 11am and you look like a racoon.



The. Royal. Wedding. Gasp.

Wow y'all. Bitches bow down to Ms. Kate for the win on that dress. Simple, beautiful, elegant. She looked like she hasn't eaten in months. She looked amazing. And its the start of my new diet - the Katemiddletonisaprincessandyournot diet.Now, lets talk trash on Wills.
The poor guy is what, 28? And he's the future king of england. Can't they do someting with his hair? Some plugs? Spray paint? Shave it down? I'm not a balding man, but it escapes me why they can't do something. I'm not saying he isnt remotely hot and I might have had a Prince William poster that might have hung above my bed in high school (slightly creepy), but lord he has NOT aged very well.

Now, for the guests. Lord have mercy, the guests. I wonder how it feels to have 1900 people at your wedding but only 600 are lucky enough to make it to the reception. Youzas - that is some major cutting of a list. And then only 300 for the "after party"....which is bigger than most people's wedding.

Start us off Cams.

Ehhh...its a touch blah. But I like the see-thru hat. Very courteous of you. Maybe the world will forget you are a tramp.

David and Vicki Beckham...because, you know, they are such close, personal friends. I'll probably be burned alive for this comment, but I think he looks awful here. I know, I know but whatevs. As for his wife,
THIS is how you do it. Bitch is like 6 months preggers, standing on 6 inch Louboutins. She's been complaning that she will look like a beached whale, but homegirl is bringing it. And totes adore that hat. I wish Americans would bring back hats. Its so dignified.
Speaking of dignified:

Mama Middleton, ladies and gentlemen! She looks so appropriate and regal. Unlike the Queen in that awful yellow suit. She looked like a lemon chiffon pie.
Princesses Eugenie and Beatrice -

Its Ab Fab - the 2011 edition starring Edwina and Patsy.

I say this with complete love and affection - this look is the shit. Both Isabella Blow and Alexander McQueen would have loved this wedding. This hat is so Blow. Ps - loving that sentence. "So blow". Poodle - that's our new "its hot".

And kiddies, I leave you with this: SHUT.IT.THE.FUCK.DOWN.

Tara Palmer-Tomkinson, known as TP-T, complete with her new nose...due to a raging coke habit. DEAD.

And I'm spent.



Thursday, April 28, 2011

Bonjour Bitches!

Welcome! Welcome! Listen my little bitches, after years of people telling me I should start a blog, here it is. Yes,its true, I'm pretty witty. And yes, its more than true that I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut about rumors, gossip, life (not to mention keeping the look off my face), but I thought I would talk about things I love...anything from Hermes,tennis, television, movies, Paris, Karl Lagerfeld, Anna Wintour. That doesn't mean I won't gossip. Or tell rumors. And I'm not going to lie, of the things just listed, Karl might be the thing I love the most. There is something so genius and delicious with just a touch of the crazy. And, given the news today that he made a life size chocolate replica of his "muse", Baptiste Giabiconi, with life size bulge in his panties, I think we should start with him.

If you have never seen "Lagerfeld: Confidential", you are seriously missing out. Recommended by my bestie, Poodle (who's genius will blow your mind), cronicles Uncle Karl while he gets ready for Paris fashion week circa2005/ 2006. Gems pulled from this amazing film: Karl loves ipods, rings, books - in could possibly be on a show of Horders (insert creepy theme music here); Karl hates to be detests him...its so de mode, and when ever he flies he carries around a pillow to keep on his stomach to cure his neverousness (which is something I totally do! Its fate. We should totally be friends).

Since this is the first post, I'm going to keep it rather short and leave you with things I am loving and a Karl quote, so you too can understand his genius.

"I never smoke. I never drank and I never took drugs. The funny thing is, there is nothing more boring, people like this. For me, its okay. But most of my friends, at least they smoke and drink." Sing it to the lord Karl.


AMC's The Killing

HBO's Game of Thrones

the Chloe handbag my boss just bought. We hate her/want to be her.

the new line of Hermes scarves I've been drooling over

the promise of cooler days

my new Lilly sandals

annnnnnnd that in about 10 hours, maybe this wedding of prince william will be off the air. Holler Prince Harry!