Monday, October 31, 2011

happy freaking halloween!

I hope everyone had a nice and safe halloween.  No razor blades found, no roofies in drinks. Halloween used to be my most favorite holiday after Christmas. But this year, with the rain, snow, the sub-zero temperature and the lack of candy around the office, I am just over it.  However, I had a peanut butter snickers this weekend and it was like heaven in my mouth. Seriously. Pick up a bag or ten.

So, let's just get the news out of the way shall we? Kim Kardashian is getting divorced after 72 days. I mean, who the hell didn't see this coming? Why did she rush into it in the first place? Why would Kris go along with it? And do you know what she could have done with the $10 million dollars spent on her sham wedding? Fed people. Donated it to a college for a new science wing (ha! right. Kim probably couldnt even spell science). Clothing for the homeless. Purchase me a birkin or two. Oh...did I mention, feed people.

Here's the thing. You can do anything for a year. They could have lived on seperate coasts, made it work for the publicity. Did she think people would forget about her down the road? Oh, one can only hope. But 72 days? Quitter.


Friday, October 28, 2011

because I'm sick and not creative today

Because he makes me happy, I give you a special Friday edition of Bunny's Fake Boyfriend.
please excuse tony's big head and goofy grin and notice the jaw line, strong nose, and laugh lines.

2011 Roland Garros
that is a good head of hair! and I bet blue really brings out his eyes.

2011 watch party for the $500K watch Rafa, Tony and CC all sport.
he is tan and gorgeous and I'm in love
If you don't think Carlos looks amazingly hot in the above photo, then you should probably kill yourself.


walking in a winter wonderland?

Ladies and gentlemen....this is some bullshit.

Um, hello! It's October 28th. No way in hell should there be snow on the ground in DC. In the mountains - perhaps. But it's not even halloween! And yesterday was 70 degrees! Obviously, Mother Nature read my post yesterday about the rain/snow boots and got excited. This almost makes me want to climb into bed and not get out till March.


Thursday, October 27, 2011

tut, tut. It looks like rain.

I heard on the news last week that the East Coast will have more precipitation this fall/winter due to La Nina. Which I pronounce Laaaaaaaaa Neeeeeeeennnna. Don't judge. Most of you would say - ehhhh, I don't believe it, but because we've had nothing but rain the last 2 months, now you all are nodding your head and praying for spring.

But just because we might be snowed in for weeks at a time, it does not mean that you can't look cute! Nordstroms was kind enough to send me a wellie-gram and I thought I would share the pretty.  Personally, I cannot wear tall boots because God cursed me with Hungarian shock putter calves, but that doesn't mean you should be without.

Love the stylish orange tassel! Seems to say, "I'm hip but classic. I'm smart, yet spent $400 on a pair of rain boots."

The classic Hunter.
But for the girl who refuses to wear flats. The horror!

Kate Spade.
Did you even have to ask if it was Kate? I love the bow, but see these only on the young mom desperately trying to be hip.  FYI - It's not working.


I love the chic riding boot-esque of this wellie.
And if you just want to tell La Nina to go to hell, that you will not be caught in these awful things, then check out the new Guccis. They are embellished with clear crystals so they will sparkle!


these are a few of my favorite things

I'm sick. I have a vicious cold that has decided to host in my body and make me miserable.  At least it could have been a stomach flu so I could lose 10 lbs. How rude.

But in the news today, there is a man that never gets sick, though if I was as rich as him I wouldn't get sick either. In fact I doubt he even sleeps. How could he? He's Karl. Yep, my pretend BFF announced this week that he was a touch bored so he's decided to do his own clothing line - this being separate from Chanel, Fendi, and Karl Lagerfeld Impulse for Macy's.  Actually, he's doing two clothing lines, because one would be so demode. The lower-priced line, called "Karl" (genius) will price between $85 to $415 while the higher-priced collection, "Karl Lagerfeld Paris," will be about $415 to $3,465. And because Karl is a giver, you will be able to purchase on Don't worry...I've already signed up for email reminders.

Oh...and let's not forget the nerd rage I had last night when I saw that the Kaiser will also do a watch line for Fossil. The sad part, they won't be out until Spring 2013. Can I even wait that long?

And to bring you (read: me) some happy today, feast your eyes on this video. How do you think I get to be the makeup girl/clothes helper-outter?

Hugs and sniffles,

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

L is for the way you look at me

After the wedding post yesterday, I thought I would post an article that appeared on the Huffington Post in February for the singlets. It's by Tracy McMillan who writes for Mad Men (love) among others. The title is "why you're not married". It's not only funny, but very insightful. After reading #1, I realized I'll probably die alone...but then I read #2 and remember getting so angry at Fancy Nancy for his lack of knowledge about Hermes H belts and Louis XI Ghost chairs let alone an Eames chair and that relationship is in no way romantic (sorry pal).


Why You're Not Married by Tracy McMillan

You want to get married. It's taken a while to admit it. Saying it out loud -- even in your mind -- feels kind of desperate, kind of unfeminist, kind of definitely not you, or at least not any you that you recognize. Because you're hardly like those girls on TLC saying yes to the dress and you would never compete for a man like those poor actress-wannabes on The Bachelor.

You've never dreamt of an aqua-blue ring box.

Then, something happened. Another birthday, maybe. A breakup. Your brother's wedding. His wife-elect asked you to be a bridesmaid, and suddenly there you were, wondering how in hell you came to be 36-years-old, walking down the aisle wearing something halfway decent from J. Crew that you could totally repurpose with a cute pair of boots and a jean jacket. You started to hate the bride -- she was so effing happy -- and for the first time ever you began to have feelings about the fact that you're not married. You never really cared that much before. But suddenly (it was so sudden) you found yourself wondering... Deep, deep breath... Why you're not married.

Well, I know why.

How? It basically comes down to this: I've been married three times. Yes, three. To a very nice MBA at 19; a very nice minister's son at 32 (and pregnant); and at 40, to a very nice liar and cheater who was just like my dad, if my dad had gone to Harvard instead of doing multiple stints in federal prison.

I was, for some reason, born knowing how to get married. Growing up in foster care is a big part of it. The need for security made me look for very specific traits in the men I dated -- traits it turns out lead to marriage a surprisingly high percentage of the time. Without really trying to, I've become a sort of jailhouse lawyer of relationships -- someone who's had to do so much work on her own case that I can now help you with yours.
But I won't lie. The problem is not men, it's you. Sure, there are lame men out there, but they're not really standing in your way. Because the fact is -- if whatever you're doing right now was going to get you married, you'd already have a ring on it. So without further ado, let's look at the top six reasons why you're not married.

1. You're a Bitch.
Here's what I mean by bitch. I mean you're angry. You probably don't think you're angry. You think you're super smart, or if you've been to a lot of therapy, that you're setting boundaries. But the truth is you're pissed. At your mom. At the military-industrial complex. At Sarah Palin. And it's scaring men off.

The deal is: most men just want to marry someone who is nice to them. I am the mother of a 13-year-old boy, which is like living with the single-cell protozoa version of a husband. Here's what my son wants out of life: macaroni and cheese, a video game, and Kim Kardashian. Have you ever seen Kim Kardashian angry? I didn't think so. You've seen Kim Kardashian smile, wiggle, and make a sex tape. Female anger terrifies men. I know it seems unfair that you have to work around a man's fear and insecurity in order to get married -- but actually, it's perfect, since working around a man's fear and insecurity is big part of what you'll be doing as a wife.

2. You're Shallow.
When it comes to choosing a husband, only one thing really, truly matters: character. So it stands to reason that a man's character should be at the top of the list of things you are looking for, right? But if you're not married, I already know it isn't. Because if you were looking for a man of character, you would have found one by now. Men of character are, by definition, willing to commit.

Instead, you are looking for someone tall. Or rich. Or someone who knows what an Eames chair is. Unfortunately, this is not the thinking of a wife. This is the thinking of a teenaged girl. And men of character do not want to marry teenaged girls. Because teenage girls are never happy. And they never feel like cooking, either.

3. You're a Slut.
Hooking up with some guy in a hot tub on a rooftop is fine for the ladies of Jersey Shore -- but they're not trying to get married. You are. Which means, unfortunately, that if you're having sex outside committed relationships, you will have to stop. Why? Because past a certain age, casual sex is like recreational heroin -- it doesn't stay recreational for long.

That's due in part to this thing called oxytocin -- a bonding hormone that is released when a woman a) nurses her baby and b) has an orgasm -- that will totally mess up your casual-sex game. It's why you can be f**k-buddying with some dude who isn't even all that great and the next thing you know, you're totally strung out on him. And you have no idea how it happened. Oxytocin, that's how it happened. And since nature can't discriminate between marriage material and Charlie Sheen, you're going to have to start being way more selective than you are right now.

4. You're a Liar.
It usually goes something like this: you meet a guy who is cute and likes you, but he's not really available for a relationship. He has some condition that absolutely precludes his availability, like he's married, or he gets around town on a skateboard. Or maybe he just comes right out and says something cryptic and open to interpretation like, "I'm not really available for a relationship right now."

You know if you tell him the truth -- that you're ready for marriage -- he will stop calling. Usually that day. And you don't want that. So you just tell him how perfect this is because you only want to have sex for fun! You love having fun sex! And you don't want to get in a relationship at all! You swear!

About ten minutes later, the oxytocin kicks in. You start wanting more. But you don't tell him that. That's your secret -- just between you and 22,000 of your closest girlfriends. Instead, you hang around, having sex with him, waiting for him to figure out that he can't live without you. I have news: he will never "figure" this out. He already knows he can live without you just fine. And so do you. Or you wouldn't be lying to him in the first place.

5. You're Selfish.
If you're not married, chances are you think a lot about you. You think about your thighs, your outfits, your naso-labial folds. You think about your career, or if you don't have one, you think about doing yoga teacher training. Sometimes you think about how marrying a wealthy guy -- or at least a guy with a really, really good job -- would solve all your problems.

Howevs, a good wife, even a halfway decent one, does not spend most of her day thinking about herself. She has too much s**t to do, especially after having kids. This is why you see a lot of celebrity women getting husbands after they adopt. The kids put the woman on notice: Bitch, hello! It's not all about you anymore! After a year or two of thinking about someone other than herself, suddenly, Brad Pitt or Harrison Ford comes along and decides to significantly other her. Which is also to say -- if what you really want is a baby, go get you one. Your husband will be along shortly. Motherhood has a way of weeding out the lotharios.

6. You're Not Good Enough.
Oh, I don't think that. You do. I can tell because you're not looking for a partner who is your equal. No, you want someone better than you are: better looking, better family, better job.

Here is what you need to know: You are enough right this minute. Period. Not understanding this is a major obstacle to getting married, since women who don't know their own worth make terrible wives. Why? You can fake it for a while, but ultimately you won't love your spouse any better than you love yourself. Smart men know this.

I see this at my son's artsy, progressive school. Of 183 kids, maybe six have moms who are as cute as you're trying to be. They're attractive, sure. They're just not objects. Their husbands (wisely) chose them for their character, not their cup size.

Alright, so that's the bad news. The good news is that I believe every woman who wants to can find a great partner. You're just going to need to get rid of the idea that marriage will make you happy. It won't. Once the initial high wears off, you'll just be you, except with twice as much laundry.

Because ultimately, marriage is not about getting something -- it's about giving it. Strangely, men understand this more than we do. Probably because for them marriage involves sacrificing their most treasured possession -- a free-agent penis -- and for us, it's the culmination of a princess fantasy so universal, it built Disneyland.
The bottom line is that marriage is just a long-term opportunity to practice loving someone even when they don't deserve it. Because most of the time, your messy, farting, macaroni-and-cheese eating man will not be doing what you want him to. But as you give him love anyway -- because you have made up your mind to transform yourself into a person who is practicing being kind, deep, virtuous, truthful, giving, and most of all, accepting of your own dear self -- you will find that you will experience the very thing you wanted all along:


Tuesday, October 25, 2011

lock it up.

There is something about attending a wedding that stops and makes you think about life. Where you've been, where you are, babies, the future. Not to be corny, but there is a line from the movie Wedding Crashers when Owen Wilson tells Rachel McAdams that the reason people attend weddings is the hope of seeing true love. "True love is the soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another." You always pray that it's "the one" for your friend, but sometimes you have this tiny nagging that you know it won't last.

The wedding I attended this weekend was perfect. In fact, I've never seen two people more content and happy with each other than Maggie and Troy. As cynical and jaded as we might become, when you witness the start of a good relationship you realize that love does exist and a glimmer of hope starts to form inside you.

Mazel Tov! to the happy couple.

Best quotes of the weekend:
"They have mini-doughnuts!" - ML
"They have mini-grilled cheese!!" - ML 5 minutes after the doughnut

And to because he wanted to make it into the blog....


Monday, October 24, 2011

forget suri's burn book....


I just...I can't...ehhhh...I don't know what to say. I am seriously at a loss for words.

Please read this article from The Coveteur about Hudson Kroenig, 3 year old son of the ridiculously good looking model and former Karl muse, Brad Kroenig. A tease of what you might find in said article:

"And it’s no surprise that as the face of Fendi, Hudson is repping hard—jacket, sweater, jeans, hat, shoes… you name it, he’s got it! Uncle Karl—who shot the Fendi campaign—really is like an uncle to Hud- gifting him stuffed mini Karl’s to cuddle with at night, visiting him in NYC and hanging with him in Europe."

“Hudson likes to get dressed up, especially in jackets & blazers. This is one of his favorites. He loves accessories and loves to layer items. Scarves are his new favorite.”

OMG. I hate this kid and now I have a new nemesis.

Yeah, yeah. He is a touch little cute. Maybe even a little presh. I'll give him that. But Karl bears? The Chanel suit? The shoes everywhere? Accessories and SCARVES? Ugh...I've never been so envious of a child before in my life. Thank god they threw in the picture of a wooden puzzle to make him a little human or I would have *been plotting an over throw immediately. (*I really wanted to put "or I would have cut a bitch" but it seemed a little harsh as we are talking about a 3 year old. But still, watch your back kid.)

This is the time I realize I am way behind in life. I need to find a boy, get married, get knocked up, produce a beautiful child, become friends with Karl, have him be the godfather of little Georgianna or Pascale, use them in a modeling campaign, and have neighboring estates in France.

Ugh...yes this has ruined my day and has made me physically ill.


photo: the coveteur

I dreamed a dream...

Holler! Oh ya'll, mama is tired. On my way back from NC, I stopped in the RIC for the night - and I'm not sure what I ate, but I had the weirdest dream.

I dreamt that a gentleman in a gray fitted suit with a black tie was on the roof of my office building. For some reason, I was also on the roof. He was pacing back and forth, very agitated. He glanced back at me, winked, and then jumped off. I ran over to the side to look down, but it was no longer my building - it was the Arc de Triomphe in Paris. I started screaming for someone to help him, but he had disappeared. I turned around and started running down the circular stairs, but when I got to the bottom, it opened into a chic Parisian cafe with red velvet lined walls. I told the maitre d' that I was looking for my brother, but he sat me with George Clooney, who's hair was more salt than pepper. That's all I remember.

Normally, I don't remember my dreams or I'll only remember bits of it so it never makes sense, like this one. But there is suicide, there is Paris, and there is George Clooney as my brother. The great hambino looks nothing like GC. NOTHING. And let me say that I've met George Clooney before, ridden in an elevator with him, and while he is attractive in movies and in pictures, he is nothing to dream about - but that's just me.

So for all those psych majors, please tell me what the hell it means.


Thursday, October 20, 2011

sunshine is calling my name - I hear you now

Awwww...cheer up friend!

I know you are sad that I haven't been talking about you lately, but its okay - the Australian Open is just around the corner in January and then the games will begin!

But with little news on Rafa, there is even littler news on my main man Carlos. This saddens me to no end. I know he has a 9-5 (though in Spain its more like a 10-1), but I need just a little pick me up from the rain and gloom of dc. And then I found this....

I have NO idea what he says after "hello, I'm carlos costa", but whatever it is, I like it.

I'm off to North Carolina for the wedding of two dear friends, so peace out. I'll holler back Monday, bitches.


Photos: fuckyeahpicoandrafa

what's pink and green with envy?

Are you as jealous as I am that you weren't born to Carla Bruni and Nicholas Sarkozy? Not only would you grow up in Paris, live in the Elysee Palace (for awhile), and have a killer wardrobe but you would probably inherit Carla's disgustingly amazing cheek bones. Maybe Karl will be the godfather. just isn't fair....but congratulations to the President and Carla.  Suri has already updated her burn your back un petit bebe.


Wednesday, October 19, 2011

today I'm obsessed with...

CAPES! CAPES! CAPES! I cannot get enough of them. And it's not really just today. In fact, I bought a cape last year (so ahead of the times) and did not get to utilize it as much as I wanted.  But watch gray belted cape has made its way out of the coat closet and come hell or high water, I will wear it to death.

Speaking of death...

Diane von Furstenberg hooded cape

this one is my favorite
Nanette Lapore

I love the simple elegance of the bow at the collar.

So elegant. This would be perfect for holiday parties.
Via Spiga
The leather strip gives it just a bit of edge.
I really need a black amex with someone to pay the bill. If you know anyone like this, I'm accepting applications. Thanks, the management.


Tuesday, October 18, 2011

you say I'm crazy? I got your crazy.

Cheetos eating, no shoe wearing Brit-Brit is back ya'll with a new song "Criminal" and a new video to accompany it.  It's basically her and her poor-man's Sam Merlotte looking boyfriend making sweet lurrrve. The premise is lil Brit is in a volatile relationship with a foreigner. After he slaps her in the face, Sam shows up, beats his ass and hops on his hog and takes the motorcycle with him. HA! KIDDING. Everyone in the world knows I love me some BSpears. But see, good girl has gone bad. Sam is a criminal. He has a gun (gun, gun, guuuun). He has tattoos! The horror. And because she loves him that means she is a criminal too. Lord, Britney. Let's try and find you a nice boy with no baggage.

A couple things about this video....
1. B's dress is amazing. She really can pull off what would look tacky on anyone else.
2. Did she really need 15 sprays of her perfume? I bet she stunk to high heaven.
3. Sam's back tattoo is out.of.control.  Did they really think he needed something that large?
4. If you are going to rob some place, at least make it a Cartier or Hermes. A mini-mart? Over some milk? No, girl. You're cute. You could have flirted your way to some groceries. Also, you probably should have worn some type of mask. Just an fyi.
5. Who kills some people for milk? I know it was filmed in London and the pound is outrageous compared to the dollar, but seriously? See #4.
6. She tells her mama that she'll be alright, but ya'll she lied to her mama.

Once, after driving past a house with cop cars and motorcycles, my mama was convinced it was a drug deal gone bad. I asked how she had formed this idea. Did she read something in the newspaper? Did she see something on tv? No. It was because of the motorcycles. She said and I quote "I know because racy people lead racy lives, darling."

And scene.


It's here! It's here!

Ladies and Gentlemen, after weeks of wishin' and hopin', the Neiman Marcus Christmas Book has arrived! This means that my christmas list, complete with snowman bullet points, shall be made available shortly for you to peruse/purchase.

Maybe because of the recession or maybe because of the publicity "the book" has received, this year leaves you wanting more.  The fantasy gifts are a bit blah. Right off the bat they hit you with this. For only a million dollars, you can have a water ballet, like the one seen at the Belliago, installed at your home. Too steep but like the idea, then for a cool 500gs, you can go to Vegas and create the water ballet FOR the Bellagio. An interesting gift to say the least.

Then there is the speed boat. If I lived in Italy, this would be BANK. It's very Italian Job the Mark Wahlberg edition. (sigh.)

The trip to the farm is ridiculous and petty. HELLO. These are "fantasy" gifts. I could go to a winery and spend $9k anytime...this isn't really a fantasy. Same with the Assouline bespoke library. While this is actually pretty cool, and while I love Assouline books, this isn't really in the same line with the cupcake cars.

The international flower show for you and nine friends sits atop the christmas list.  While I really could care less about the flowers, it would be nice to travel around with 9 of my friends - Switzerland, Greece, France, England. But a Gulfstream IV? For $450,000 it should at least be a V.

But the piece de resistance is Jeanie's Bottle in my backyard.  This is going to be my gift for 2011.  Where I will set it up is still unknown, but I pray that Major Nelson also comes with it.

Non-fantasy gifts: the orange Bottega Veneta bag (so major), the etro dress, the Burberry and Lanvin handbags, and this cute Marchesa dress

That's about it. A major let down from the books of the past. When Lady Lala asked today how much the cupcake cars were and I replied 10k, she looked at me dead serious and said "then why the hell don't we have a couple!" Sigh...that's my question too.


Monday, October 17, 2011

it's just another manic monday

Oh ya'll. What a weekend. What a weekend. I need a trip far, far away. Either somewhere tropical or somewhere I can wear a cute scarf.  Should narrow my selection down, right?

I'm very depressed that I didn't make the trip down to Orlando with my co-workers this weekend for our meeting.  In hind sight, it's probably for the best. But, I've been dreaming about mexican donald duck for a week now. This little trip could have probably cured me of my travel blues and I would have been an asset on the ground, but nooooo. Deny me my Harry Potter land. Those selfish bastards.

Prince Harry is on the move again...another bar in effing San Diego, where everyone was pleased as punch to see him.  As always, he was a gentleman though he was very Zsa Zsa Gabor and asked for "no pictures please". Okay....I thought he was here to fly planes or something.  Why is he always out drinking? How do they let him just roam California? Does he have hidden security? I should be friends with him though. We'd make a great pair.

And finally, a big, huge CONGRATULATIONS!!! goes out to my friend Peed for her engagement this weekend! Holy crap ya'll...this is the THIRD friend engagement this month and sweet lil Gail got engaged last month. WTF. What is in the air?


Thursday, October 13, 2011

My sister, Filthy McNasty, once told me that she hated Lagerfeld Thursday.  Obviously she said this because she doesn't own anything Chanel. Because if she owned a quilted bag, she would understand.

I constantly stare at CNN while I'm sweating away the oldies on the elliptical, but of course the one time when I'm not paying attention, they show this:

A couple of things about this...ONE: Why did this nobody get to hang out with Karl for weeks? Life is so unfair. TWO: You have to admit, Karl is one funny guy. THREE: I really want that washer/dryer now. FOUR: Still dying over the KL Coke bottles. Why are they not in the states?? FIVE: Please note how they emphasize my Chanel sparkly coat I want from this year's collection. SIX: A KARL PERFUME? Two words ya'll: christmas list.


Wednesday, October 12, 2011

you can tell he is dirty

With every new story about Prince Harry, I become even more outrageously jealous. Why, in god's name, is he out in California and not in DC. I mean, we have helicopters too! I think it’s a government conspiracy. Somebody somewhere was worried about us meeting and falling in love and our red hair engulfing in flames and making little red headed babies and....we'll I've gone off track.

Harry landed in America and took off for San Diego.  He went to a bar where he was "a delight to serve and a big tipper". Uh...I am too, but I highly doubt that Brad the bartender would be so complimentary. The latest in royal theatrics, our boy wonder apparently saved a drowning damsel in distress. Actually, he put a towel around her, but to People mag, he is an honest to goodness hero. This alleged "Lindsey" sounds like a tramp to me. Who tells news outlets about this?  If Harry even came within an inch of me I would probably pass out. But seriously. I would gab to my girlfriends but hell if I would call up the Washington Post and tell them how he looked my way. (note: I had written something dirty here, but because we are speaking about royals and I am a lady, I deleted it).

And just so we get the full visual of Harry at a pool:
You're welcome America.

Princess Bunny von Bulow

giambattista valli for macy's

There is a great line in the movie "Bad Santa". After the kid finds a halloween candy corn in his advent calendar, Billy Bob Thornton tells him, "they can't all be winners".  The same can be said for Giambattista Valli's collection for Macy's.

Unlike the Karl Lagerfeld collection who had 45 pieces, this collection has 17. And they are all dresses. Don't get me wrong - it's cute. But Karl's stuff seemed to scream KARL. This collection seems to scream upscale-bridge-and-tunnel-trash.  But maybe it's just me....

I was actually looking forward to see his work after seeing his latest collection on the runway.  I know they need to be "budget friendly", but I expected something...cuter.


Monday, October 10, 2011

stop the presses

I hope everyone had a nice day off celebrating Columbus or some shit. IDK. I didn't have today off so I don't really care what you did.

Nothing has really come from the day except another item has been added to the christmas list (are you listening filthy mcnasty??), though I need it immediately.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you this:

Thank you NYTimes and Fauxnna Wintour.


Friday, October 7, 2011

sunny days, sweeping the clouds away

This "work" thing is really getting in the way of gossip, fashion reading and blog posting. I'm stressed beyond belief, I'm pretty sure I have kidney stones and my goal of being sugary-sweet nice crashed and burned very early on in the week. This week was filled with 4 CEOs who complained about everything and then there's the one who comes next week, who sits on the board and comes with  high strung lackeys, one of them being the infamous Baby Boy and his crime fighting partner, White Bread, whose super power must be dressing badly because she's killer at it. I keep expecting Ashton Kutcher to stop cheating on Demi and tell me I'm being punked at work because most of the day I feel like look around with an incredulous stare on my face that says "you've got to be kidding me". Maybe this is where the kidney stones have come from. It's
definitely where the heavy drinking has come from.

I've missed countless (2) Lagerfeld Thursdays much to my dismay. I didn't even give him a proper write up about the Chanel show earlier this week. The horror. Well let me paint the scene for you...close your eyes and imagine that it's a crisp 70 degrees on a spring day 2012. The faint hum of Sebastian from the little mermaid is singing under the sea, there are pearls...pastels...and boucle. His theme was under the sea and once you realized that you can kind of see where his brilliance was going. Ok...not really. I only get that on maybe 5 or 6 of the outfits. The rest seem to have no theme at all. Lots of white dresses with geometric shapes. If Stella Tennant looks bad in the dress, then I'm probably sure everyone in the world would bad.
I kind of died with the iridescence boucle jacket and I kind of want it for christmas. Though I'm not sure if people would mistake me for a fish or a traffic sign. And if anyone just thought "Bunny = big mouth bass" well you can go to hell right now.

In the craziness of the week, and most important, I forgot to publicly wish my friend, work mother, the grand dame of all the dames a happy birthday!! I mean, I've been begging for a good stomach flu for a couple months (week off work, no gym, and a good 15 lbs lost) and yet the person who already weighs 84 lbs gets it. Life is just so unfair.


Thursday, October 6, 2011

a couple more things...

1. Here ye, here ye. Prince Harry is coming to America for helicopter training. Get excited if you live in CA or AZ. He is, by far, the hottest red head out there.

2. Did anyone watch Modern Family last night. Ya'll seriously. This show killllllls me. When Cam did his Streetcar Named Desire bit, I almost fell off the couch.

3. Because of MF last night, now I'm thinking about naming my unborn daughter Blanche....though if I could get away with it I would fully name her Blanche Hollingsworth.

4. Free Agents has been canceled. SO SAD. I really liked the first episode, but last night's seemed like a chore to watch. How is Up All Night still on the air?

5. My DVR is backed up beyond belief, but I did catch Project Runway's (what happened to Andre?) Chris March's show on Bravo, Mad Fashion.  Truly creative people leave me in awe. I could have never come up with half the stuff he did.

6. I caught 15 minutes of the show after Chris', Fashion Hunters or something like that, and it was awful. The main girl was beyond vapid. I couldn't even watch the whole show.

7. Saw "What's your number" this past weekend with Anna Farris and Chris Evans. It was so bad. So, so bad. Which is why I want my new job to be a movie reader. You give me the script, put together a 3 minute clip using a diorama and some play dough and I'll tell you whether people will watch.  There is no need to waste money like this.

8. I cannot stop quoting Clueless lately.  I've hurt my back somehow and I constantly keep saying "even fabian my masseuse says I have a lot of tension in my back." It makes me feel better...its my happy place.

9. During previews for that awful movie we saw this weekend, they showed the new Footloose clip.  Christ almighty. If I was Le Bacon, I would sue.  There was no reason on god's green earth they should have remade this movie. It's a classic. Would you remake Gone with the Wind or Casablanca? No. Because that's just crazy talk.


Wednesday, October 5, 2011

it's been a hell of a week

It's only Wednesday and already I am in serious need of an IV of vodka stat. Sorry I have been MIA for the past 3 days, but just when I think things are going to ease up the flood gates of crazy unleash and posting becomes the furthest thing from my mind.  I hope to have some stuff for you tomorrow, but in the mean time here are some quick, easy, painless bullets.

* Take a look at this Josh Charles montage the Fug Girls did. 17 photos of nothing but Josh...if you cut his girlfriend out.

* There is an endless sea of pretty coming out of Paris.  Chanel, Hermes, Alexander McQueen, Miu Miu all are incredible.  The Valentino is just bat shit amazing. Even if you are a straight guy, check it out. It's perfection and there are boobs.

* Talk of Arrested Development returning has made my week and I need an immediate rewatch to start with my everyday quotes.