Friday, April 29, 2011

The. Royal. Wedding. Gasp.

Wow y'all. Bitches bow down to Ms. Kate for the win on that dress. Simple, beautiful, elegant. She looked like she hasn't eaten in months. She looked amazing. And its the start of my new diet - the Katemiddletonisaprincessandyournot diet.Now, lets talk trash on Wills.
The poor guy is what, 28? And he's the future king of england. Can't they do someting with his hair? Some plugs? Spray paint? Shave it down? I'm not a balding man, but it escapes me why they can't do something. I'm not saying he isnt remotely hot and I might have had a Prince William poster that might have hung above my bed in high school (slightly creepy), but lord he has NOT aged very well.

Now, for the guests. Lord have mercy, the guests. I wonder how it feels to have 1900 people at your wedding but only 600 are lucky enough to make it to the reception. Youzas - that is some major cutting of a list. And then only 300 for the "after party"....which is bigger than most people's wedding.

Start us off Cams.

Ehhh...its a touch blah. But I like the see-thru hat. Very courteous of you. Maybe the world will forget you are a tramp.

David and Vicki Beckham...because, you know, they are such close, personal friends. I'll probably be burned alive for this comment, but I think he looks awful here. I know, I know but whatevs. As for his wife,
THIS is how you do it. Bitch is like 6 months preggers, standing on 6 inch Louboutins. She's been complaning that she will look like a beached whale, but homegirl is bringing it. And totes adore that hat. I wish Americans would bring back hats. Its so dignified.
Speaking of dignified:

Mama Middleton, ladies and gentlemen! She looks so appropriate and regal. Unlike the Queen in that awful yellow suit. She looked like a lemon chiffon pie.
Princesses Eugenie and Beatrice -

Its Ab Fab - the 2011 edition starring Edwina and Patsy.

I say this with complete love and affection - this look is the shit. Both Isabella Blow and Alexander McQueen would have loved this wedding. This hat is so Blow. Ps - loving that sentence. "So blow". Poodle - that's our new "its hot".

And kiddies, I leave you with this: SHUT.IT.THE.FUCK.DOWN.

Tara Palmer-Tomkinson, known as TP-T, complete with her new nose...due to a raging coke habit. DEAD.

And I'm spent.



1 comment:

ricvamatt said...

camilla is not a tramp. she is amazing. diana was a sordid tramp. how YOU durrin?