Thursday, August 30, 2012

second verse, same as the first

Day two of the republican convention and it was pretty much just like the first night. Boresville: population 50. The Nader people were still fuming about something (I missed why they were upset - perhaps something about his eyebags?), the freak shows were still there wearing their cowboy hats, and I was bored to tears a hour in.

I got the impression it was trying to be ladies night with Gov. Martinez, Condolezza Rice...and Mike Huckabee, but then Paul Ryan and his devilish good looks ruined the whole evening. I'm going to put it out there - Susana Martinez might be my new favorite person. She was adorable talking her taco-talk and telling us about how she carried a gun. Man, us R's really do love their guns. I thought Condi did a great job though I feel like a lot of people were too fixated on the lipstick on her teeth. I would have been too had I been paying more attention. I would love to see Con kicked back, drinking beer, cursing - just letting herself go just a bit. She's so stiff and boring.

Now onto Paul Ryan. Oh Paul. What was with your wife and her weird mouth movements? She seemed to have a weird tick that involved moving her mouth back and forth. His mom and kids were cute ... the daughter with her sparkly hair bow made me smile (and think to myself I need a new fascinator). Speaking of cute, Paul looked fantastic. The pale blue tie was a good choice bringing out the blue in his eyes. What his speech was about was lost on me though...Casablanca was on and for the good of the resistance, I turned the channel to watch Bogie, Ingrid and Sam. Sorry I'm not sorry.

Mitt is on center stage tonight. So is South Carolina Gamecock football. Tough decision, but I think everyone knows I love any opportunity to scream "GO COCKS".


Wednesday, August 29, 2012

must see tv?

Day one of the republican convention and well...what can be said? I'm going to chalk it up to the hurricane, but damn it was the saddest, pitiful little thing I have ever seen. And these are my people. Well not those Ron Paul freaks or those assholes who love Santorum. I'm also not really a Romney girl...however his boys are seriously good looking. Well except that one who looks like he doesn't belong. You know the one I'm talking about.

When you work behind the scenes of these events it looks so much more overwhelming and imposing, but those poor people wearing their sad little cowboy hats and the weirdos who dressed up in their state colors were just depressing. How about that Artur Davis though? Ain't no way he is going back to the Dem party. He was throwing total shade at Obama. He was really a great speaker...we should use him more.

I switched between the convention and the us open. With Rafa out, Novak is my heart that is. Don't think I jumped off the nadal train...I'm still the president, but I have always loved Novak too. And the fact that my Goldman crush bares more than a slight resemblance to him doesn't hurt either. Speaking of - GS crush waved at me last week. It was the highlight of my year day.


Wednesday, August 22, 2012

why isn't it more in focus?

I know that everyone is gawking and gasping at the pictures that have surfaced of Prince Harry showing his beautiful red headed body in Vegas this weekend. Trust me - I'm gawking and gasping too, but I feel really sorry for him. The kid has come a long way in his twenties (remember the Hitler pictures?) and he did an amazing job traveling the globe touting his grammy's jubilee. Such a good job that most everyone was pleasantly surprised how grown up and mature he appeared to be. With all the focus on Will and Kate this was really his time to shine.

But then...strip billiards? Really? That's how you ruin your image? I just wish the photo wasn't so grainy. He's pretty tan for a red head.

Photo: TMZ (as if you couldn't tell with the huge water mark across the photo hindering my future husband's amazingly flat stomach)

Thursday, August 9, 2012

"I like to get in the mud cause I like to get dirty like a pig"

Oh man. I'm not even sure how to explain what my eyes have witnessed. I swear that TLC will give anyone a reality show...and they have. Former Toddlers and Tiara's star, Honey Boo Boo Child, got her own reality show made up of the most ridiculous cast of characters you have ever seen.  Take a watch on the link. Mama June, aka the "coupon queen", might be the best, though she is followed closely by the rest of the family. The father is named "Sugar Bear", one of the sisters "Chubette", another "Pumpkin". Oh and lets not forget the 17 year old pregnant one. Of course there is a pregnant one. Alana - the child herself - is actually the least entertaining of the group.

There is so much wrong with this show that in the first 10 minutes you can literally feel bugs crawling all over you. I needed a handy wipe for my brain. After posting about how amazing southern women are, this show seems to put us back to 1960. Good luck getting this out of your head.


Friday, August 3, 2012

from the VA to the LA coast

The amazing marvel that is Ryan Lochte turned 28 today. Not too shabby to win a couple of medals to celebrate. Me, I normally just have a cupcake or two...(okay definitely two).

Lochte's sweet mom is trying to clear up her mis-quoted quote"one night stand" comment from a couple of days ago. She did mean dates and not that her precious son was just handing out fucks, but I think most people realized that. That's what moms do - they try to be cool, but just come off looking ridiculous and precious.

Keeping this post Olympic themed, can we talk about the micro machine Gabby Douglas? HELL YEAH VIRGINIA BEACH. Beat those Russians! Now normally I don't claim the beach as part of the VA, but last night I was cheering and crying from my couch screaming "you go viriginia beach!". I was waiting for her Sherri Shepard mom to jump up screaming "THATS MY BAAAAABY", but alas that did not happen. Maybe Sherri can play her mom in her Lifetime movie. But I will tell you, that Bart Connor is the most irritating commentator in the entire world. He ruins gymnastics meets for me and he makes me violent. I want someone to walk up to him in London and punch him in the throat (Jamie, I'm hollering at you).

Speaking of crying, am I the only one who weeps uncontrolably at the P&G commercials? Every. Single. Time. They are making me tear up as I post...and now you can cry too. Best commercials of the games.

Still on my USA! rant,

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

america. F yeah.

I hope each of you has banked hours of Olympic view time. If not, there is something wrong with you and the state department will be by anytime now to revoke your citizenship. There really is something so satisfying about beating other countries to prove that we are the greatest. I mean, how awesome was it to watch those Russian girls cry last night after losing the gold to the USA gymnastics team?!

I was starting to become a touch over saturated with Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte, until yesterday when Ryan described what his perfect girl would wear...white jeans. LOVE HIM. And his sweet little mother cannot keep her mouth shut saying he doesn't date because he's too busy, but he's been on plenty of "one night stands" as she calls them (I think she means first dates). If I ever made it to the Olympics, keeping my "chatty Kathy" quiet would be a gold medal event to be sure. Watch the link above if you need more Ryan in your life or just want to know more about that awful grill.

Also - can we talk about the horrible NBC promos for their new shows? I love Matthew Perry - seriously j'adore him - but these commercials will be on longer than the actual show. And that little monkey show? When the previews aren't remotely funny, the show definitely won't be.

AND last and a day early, my bestie Karl is in hot water again for talking shit about Pippa Middleton. Everything he says is true, but yet people are up in arms over him. "Kate Middleton has a nice silhouette and she is the right girl for that boy,” he said to The Sun. “I like that kind of woman, I like romantic beauties. On the other hand, her sister struggles. I don't like the sister's face. She should only show her back." I hear you Karl.

Back to watching swimming - USA! USA! USA!