Monday, October 1, 2012

a case of the mondays

Goodness gracious. Mondays are the worst. All you want to do is leisurely break into the day, maybe hit up lunch early...stay longer than usual, hit the afternoon meetings and then head the hell home. But noooo. This Monday meant it. Maybe it was to get back at me complaining about not working for the past 6 weeks. Whatever it was, I'm over it.

Lots to talk about. LOTS. First, this is the best time of the year - apple cider, leaves turning, and the tv shows are back (though Honey Boo Boo is over. Sad face like for reals)! Second, Anne Hathaway got married this weekend. Third, Lindsey Lohan was choked. While I shouldn't joke about that, it is so justifiable that I don't think anyone will hate on me.

So many new tv shows last night to count, but on Thursday Scandal was back. I have to admit, even though it is flawed, I really was looking forward to the premier. First, ABC needs to realize that no one cares about the Quinn story line. She is the worst actress in all of the actresses in all of the entire world. The pits. Miserable. Trash. Think of a couple more adjectives for awful and you will get the picture. Making up for her miserable excuse as a human being, is President Tony Goldwyn. Man, he is so good looking I can barely follow what is being said when he is on screen. Olivia keeps running around doing her weird walking, the cameraman is still having a stroke, and the FLOTUS is preggers and wants to paint the nursery in blood red. Congratulations, I think you might raise a serial killer. Paint it green or yellow. Hell, I'd even do an orange before red.

The Good Wife also premiered. Nothing really new to report...Alicia is still cold, Kalinda is still a weirdo bi-sexual wearing skirts, boots and leather moto jackets (CBS, I beg of you. PLEASE change her outfit. XO - the whole wide world), and Will is looking botoxed to hell, but adorable.

HOMELAND. Ya'll, I can't even tell you how excited I was for this premier. I don't want to spoil it for people who don't have the tv watching stamina I posses, so I'll keep it short and simple. We're back after, what 6 months? I couldn't figure out the timeline. Brody is now a congressman (lord, can you imagine the nut job of a boss he would be?), Saul is in Beirut, and Carrie is living with her sister and trying to get back on her feet after being booted from the CIA. She's called back to help with an asset and as such she needs to dye her hair brown. I got to tell you, this was the most disturbing thing of the episode. Claire is so a summer. This was mostly a catch up episode so not much happened, though I did have one "oooohhhh shittttt" moment. Speaking of shits - that daughter of Brody's needs to be disciplined. And hard. If I had spoken to my mother the way she speaks to hers, I would have had my throat ripped out through the skin. You think I'm kidding, but I couldn't more serious. Heart attack serious.

Now...onto Anne Hathaway. Ya'll know I hate her right? Like irrationally hate her. I think it's because of her lips. Or maybe it's her nose. Or maybe it's because she's the most annoying person on the face of the earth. (ok...maybe second behind my sister) My tanned, yacht owning, South of France sailing, friend Valentino let it slip a couple weeks ago that he designed the dress. I wonder if he's taking responsibility for that awful head gear?

I think poor Anne is going to look back and wish she had gotten some extensions for her awful hair. Or at least have waited another 6 months to let it grow in more. And is it me, or is that dress have a pink hue to it? I mean, we all know she isn't a virgin, but damn A, you don't have to parade it around. Personally, I want my dress tinted blue. Very light so that after I walk by you squinch your nose up and say "is that dress blue or white?" Always leave them guessing... 
So now I'm guessing that Valentino has finally succumbed to sun poisoning and it's seeped into his brain. That's the only thing that can account for this monstrosity of a dress. I gotta say, it just makes me dislike her more.

Happy monday!

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