french literally meaning "I don't know what"...which is exactly what this blog is. It's everything and anything I'm obsessed with...which are all totally random and all totally amazing.
OH MAN. I bet you are so excited. I bet you woke up this morning thinking "what in the world did Bunny put as #1 on her christmas list!". Over the past months, I have received lots of feedback and recommendations of movies that I've never seen that need to be on next years list. Thank you all for the suggestions - and I will take them to heart - even the inclusion of Die Harder. So....ARE YOU READY?
Cue drum roll please......
1. Miracle on 34th Street (1994)
If you just outwardly groaned and said "nineteen ninety fooooour??" I don't want to hear it. I love this version and its a Bunny and Filthy McNasty tradition to curl up on the sofa after gorging on presents and watch this, much to the dismay of our brother and father.
Sweet little Mara Wilson, who you know from Matilda, plays Susan Walker, a precocious 6 year old who doesn't believe in Santa but really wants to. Her mother is the head of ...well, basically Macy's...and will not have Susan walking around like all the other dopey children so she tells her that she's hired a man to pretend he's santa. But you know what...he IS santa! (Santa! I know him!)
Dylan McDermott and his amazing blue eyes really make this movie, as does the adorable Mara Wilson. Oh...and let's not forget the BANANAS Cartier diamond ring that mean ole mom gets....thinking about it brings a tear to my eye. And the guy that plays santa isn't so bad either.
Sigh. I love this movie. I know what you're thinking..."the muppets, really?" BUT YES. The great Michael Caine as Scrooge is the perfect mix of bitter, hateful, and at the end perfect. Please note that this movie is a musical, which makes it so amazing. Again, you know the story line, but the addition of Gonzo as Charles Dickens and Rizzo the rat as the story tellers give it an extra touch.
Please note how cute the singing vegtables are...especially the eggplant. He's my favorite.
Yes. You read that correctly. I love #2 more than the original. Maybe its the addition of awful, yet lovable concierge Tim Curry. To this day I can still recite the 800 number to The Plaza...("guests of the new celebrity ding-dang-dong stay at the world-renowned Plaza Hotel, New York's most exciting hotel experience. For reservations, call toll free: 1-800-759-3000.")
Like the original, this one also gives an amazing amount of quotes:
-I'm 10 years old. TV is my life.
-Store wouldn't your stolen credit card?
-Get outta here, you nosey little pervert, or I'm gonna slap you silly!
-You've been smooching with everybody! Snuffy. Al. Leo. Little Moe with the gimpy leg. Cheeks. Boney Bob. Cliff. I could go on forever baby.
And my favorite....Two scoops? Make it three. I'm not driving.
This is the word of Kevin McCallister. Let us rejoice and be glad.
FYI - You can order until 2pm today on Hermes.com for any of my christmas goodies and they will be delivered by christmas! Happy shopping.
Also, can we briefly discuss the Lexus "the season for giving" commercials where one family member gives the other one a beautifully wrapped lexus? These commercials have irritated me for years, mostly because I have never been so lucky to receive such a gift. In years past, its always been the husband who gives the wife the car, but this year they've changed it up to reflect both sides of giving.
Problem #1. Who gives a car? Seriously. Can you even take that back or exchange?
Problem #2. After the initial shock of receiving a car wears off, do you think they stop and think about how the giver paid for said gift?
Problem #3. Joint checking. Did you seriously just pay $60K of MY money for a new car for me? And if not paid in full, did you just weigh us down with more debt each month.
However, all of those problems can be overlooked if a blue RX300 showed up at my door christmas morning. Please make sure the big red bow and snow are included.
Every Bunny family event, in some way, is referenced to Christmas Vacation...because if something can go wrong, it usually does. We also have our share of "cousin eddie's" though I try my best to stay clear of them.
My mother absolutely hates this movie. Who knows the reason why, but because of her hatred, the rest of us are more endeared to it. I really don't know what makes this a comedic classic, but I say it's Aunt Bethany. Hands down, she is the best character. When she stars singing the star spangled banner as santa and the reindeer go flying through the air, I almost wet myself with laughter. Maybe its the pill box hat, maybe its the plaid christmas outfit (which I would wear in an instant), maybe its her husband Lewis. Who knows what makes her so amazing, but here is the best of Bethany...Merry Christmas. http://youtu.be/jCBvFYGwd0g (it won't let me embed!)
Don't even for one second think I'm talking about that catastrophe with Jim Carey. Hell to the no. I'm talking original here...cartoon....Boris Karloff. I'm talking heart, two sizes too small. I'm talking sweet little dog with antlers on his head. I love this movie because the grinch is just so deliciously awful and mean. As I joke sometimes about my black heart, I think that like the grinch, it grows two sizes over the holidays (unless I'm at target like this past weekend and these bratty kids were screaming and running around with blue icing all over their hands wiping it on unsuspecting customers. I wanted to cut them because thats what they deserved. Tee hee.) It's always the perfect 30 minutes of television during the holiday season, because everyone feels overwhelmed and grinch-like and then those damn hoos (like UVA - GO HOOS!) start singing and it's like angels and everyone becomes happy and realizes the true meaning of christmas.
Now listen...I don't want any lip from anyone on this movie being #7. I love this movie, but TBS is to blame for it not being closer to #1. When you run it for 24 hours straight years on end you should anticipate people getting sick of a movie. I would have actually put this movie in the 20s but thought the backlash might be too much. As for favorite parts, the chinese restaurant hands down.
While I asked santa for a Louis Vuitton monogrammed "never full" mm tote, among many other things, I wonder if santa would also bring me a box of these new LV condoms. Though, one doesn't want to be a label whore.
So many good things came out of this movie. The introduction to Macaulay Culkin, the quotes, Buzz, the soundtrack, the comedic stylings of Mr. Joe Pesci, and alas, the title of this blog.
Oversleeping and poor head counting leaves sweet lil Kevin McCallister home alone as his family heads out for their holiday in Paris. Realizing their mistake in mid-air, the family desperately tries to get back to Chicago while poor Kevicakes tries to fend off two goofy robbers.I love this movie - what's not to love - and can watch it anytime of the year - which my family will attest to - and can watch it over and over without ever being sick of it. Maybe it's because my brother had the same sheets as Kevin. Maybe its because I know what holiday chaos really is. Maybe its because I oversleep on everything. I just know that I love this movie.
Best quotes from the movie: * "This house is so full of people it makes me sick. When I grow up and get married, I'm living alone. Did you hear me? I'm living alone. I'm living alone." * "I wouldn't let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass." * "A lovely cheese pizza, just for me." * "No, for three reasons: A, I'm not that lucky. Two, we use smoke detectors and D, we live on the most boring street in the whole United States of America, where nothing even remotely dangerous will ever happen. Period." * "Kevin, you're what the French call les incompetents. " * "Look what you did you little jerk."
Eeek! Oh my gosh y'all we are in the home stretch here. Today's movie is technically classified as a 'made for tv movie', but oh...it is so much more than that.
Miss Olivia Newton John stars as a department store mannequin come to life to fulfill the christmas wish of a little girl. Let me get it out of the way by saying that Jessie, the little girl, is probably the most annoying person on the face of the earth, but her dad is a hot silver fox.
It's beyond corny, but my sister and I will stop everything to watch it when it makes a surprise appearance on tv. Good news for you, I found it on youtube. Ahh...the brilliance of the tube.
This is part one of ten, but I'm sure after you watch it, you will be itching for the other 9 segments. How could you not - Olivia. Newton. John. You're welcome america.
This classic was remade for Lifetime or Hallmark about ten years ago staring JAG's David James Elliot. Sigh. I love him. But, the classic is, well, ...classic.
Robert Mitchum (Cape Fear) is a Macys-esque store clerk who waits on Janet Leigh (Psycho). She buys an excessively expensive train and then tries to return it. He says she is a "secret shopper", which I always thought would be the perfect job for me, and somehow that was a bad thing back then. Bobby gets fired, ends up going on a date with Janet - even though she has a boyfriend - and well...you have to watch. Its good. Trust me. And if you don't like the 1949 version, the 1996 version isn't too bad and has great eye candy.
Another movie that's a little hazy when it comes to actually being a "christmas" movie, but because their christmas celebration is a big part of the story, I say it is.
I can always give or take Sandra Bullock, but I adore Bill Pullman. Maybe its because he bears a slight resemblance to Baby Boy and Carlos Costa. And maybe its because of Bill, but I LOVE this movie and I'm actually sad to put it so far down the list.
Sandy is a poor girl living in Chicago with no family and a crummy job working for the L (or the subway) on Christmas. The man she has a crush on - Peter Gallagher and his amazing bushy eyebrows - gets pushed onto the track as the subway is coming. Sandy jumps on the tracks, saves his life and at the hospital tells them she is his fiance so she is able to see him. However, hilarity ensues when Peter's family shows up, knows nothing about said engagement (and why would they?!) and the family takes her into their home for Christmas dinner where she meets...dum, dum, dummmm...Peter's brother, Bill Pullman.
I am telling you its so good and if you have never seen it, then you are really missing a good 2 hours.
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this movie. LOVE. If you aren't lucky enough to catch it at 2am when it plays on ABC Family, you can also watch its entirety on YouTube. Ahh...the miracle of modern video.
When letters written to Santa are returned, the town gets together to figure out why. It seems that a communist mouse writes a scathing letter to their version of NYT, and Santa's feelings get hurt and decides that christmas is basically canceled in Junctionville. The local clock-maker, Joshua Trundle, comes up with a genius plan to make a huge clock tower that will play an apology-ish song to lure the fat man to their town.
Have I mentioned that I love this movie? And to any of my co-workers reading this, please tell me that Mr. Trundle doesn't look exactly like Bruce F. Except Trundle won't put you to sleep the minute he opens his mouth.
Look - before you get all huffy and puffy over the fact that this movie is #13, let me remind you that I said this list was going to be MY top 25 christmas movies... not what you think the top 25 christmas movies should be, though I caved on Emmitt Otter. Remember this as we head into the top 10 because for some of them, you won't even know what I'm talking about. But that's whats so great about the holidays...traditions, you like your stuff, I like my stuff and sitting in a corner drinking, weeping silently. Ah...the holidays.
So...where to beging on this movie? I want to thank the USA Network for running the shit out of this movie and basically ruining it. Because everyone knows that I have no will power when a movie I love runs back-to-back (take the Gone with the Wind marathon that I watched for 20 hours straight).
Things I love about this movie: the quotes. Not a day goes by when I don't say something out of this movie.
* "not now artic puffin!"
* "It's just like Santa's workshop! Except it smells like mushrooms and everyone looks like they wanna hurt me"
* "You stink. You smell like beef and cheese. You sit on a throne of lies."
* "Francisco! That's fun to say! Francisco... Frannncisco... Franciscooo..."
* "SANTA. I know him!"
* " I'm a cotton-headed ninny-muggins"
* "Sonofanutcracker"
I really could go on and on and on, but I'll spare you.
But it would be better if it was. On some German talk show this week, Karl was a guest. Can you even imagine? And can you imagine Karl as a little boy? Little gloves, little glasses, little white collar. J'adore.
Something else I love...Karl holding a Karl doll...mind blowing.
Growing up, I had a group of 5 girlfriends - we called ourselves the sugar girls. Corny I know, but we were inseparable throughout high school. My friend Julie had the best house. Not only did she have an older brother with cute friends but she also had a trampoline and a pool...and when you're 15, what else could you possibly want in life? She also had a video camera. Which is where this G rated story is headed ( I know your sick mind was headed that way).
Julie thought it was a great idea to memorex every event. Like the book report - Animal Farm by George Orwell - that I faintly remember filming at my next door neighbors house because their kids had a play farm. I don't really remember much about the book or the video except that it ended with Ryan Jones jumping over me in roller blades across a very busy Pump Road. What that had to do with talking farm animals I'll never remember. There also was the time when we recreated Sampson, Abraham and Gregory from Romeo and Juliet. This, too, I faintly remember but it had something to do with getting the attention of Steven Schemmel and Scott Appicella, both of which I was in love with. Or the time when for our US government class, we recreated a robbery by "borrowing" my new next door neighbor, Mr. D's, white Mitsubishi 300x putting a flashing light on the top and driving up and down my cul-de-sac street really fast blaring the cops theme as my friend Lee climbed through my front window. No one seemed to care that a crazy red headed girl was speeding through the neighborhood or that a boy was climbing out of the house with a tv or the fact that my father also got into the video by dressing as "blind justice" wearing a black robe, a cane and sunglasses.
Where was I going with this walk down memory lane? Well last Thursday I woke up singing a song. This in itself isn't really odd for me. But I couldn't remember the words, only the music. And so for 5 days I've been humming and driving myself crazy only remembering "cocaine katie". It finally hit me...and I started to remember. You see, this too was a high school project that we videoed. I'll paint the scene - jeans, flannel (we were in costume), and some sort of instrument on Julie's patio singing this weirdo random song that her dad (a fiercely republican hippie) listened to over and over. "On the cover of the rolling stone". Never heard of it? Neither had Ann or I before we were coerced into performing the song.
The video is still out there...somewhere...along with my dignity and one of the many reasons I'll never be able to run for congress (but a congressional wife is totally fine Tim Ryan!)
This was a super long about way of giving you #13.5 on the holiday movie schedule, because I youtubed one of the songs and it triggered the "rolling stone" song. See, I had never seen of heard this movie until last week but I had multiple emails, texts, and even a CPs happy hour to discuss Emmit Otter. To be honest, I don't get it. Singing puppets are one thing but poor singing puppets? Well that's where I draw the line. Yes, I know that this Jim Hensen classic is supposed to teach is the true meaning of Christmas - that we are supposed to remember to love each other and not the presents and that's all well and good. But I'm pretty sure I would understand the meaning more with the LV drawstring monogrammed bag.
Oh man...where do I even begin? I did nothing on Sunday except lay on the couch, admire my lovely christmas tree, and watch Lifetime christmas movies which were stockpiled on the DVR.
Movies to watch:
-Undercover Christmas
-Moonlight and Mistletoe (awful, but so good)
-12 Men of Christmas
-A Boyfriend for Christmas
-Receipe for a Perfect Christmas (Bobby Canavale is soooo good)
-Road to Christmas (Jennifer Gray post nose job)
ps - this is a shitty post because Lala is hurrying me up to hit the gym!
As I've gotten older, I now wonder if this movie isn't some slight to the ginger community. So because his nose was red instead of black, the mean reindeers wouldn't let him play in their clique-ish games? Well you know what I say Rudy? I say who needs them! Who the hell needs them. They are all stupid with their stupid black noses. Its a good thing you ran away and became friends with probably, hands down, the best christmas character of all time. HERMEY. And I say this not because his name is almost like Hermes, but because Hermey has a dream. He wants to create a better life for himself, and dammit, he is going to be a dentist come hell or high water or santa. I mean, just look at his adorable face! For some reason, every time I see him I think that Alan Cumming would be a great person to play Hermey in a real-life adaptation of Rudolph.
While flipping channels Sunday night, I came across the saddest little movie starring the once hot Bradley Whitford. You might know him as Josh Lyman from TVs west wing. I only made it through 20 minutes of the movie before I had to switch - it was some tuesday's with maurie holiday crap - but one thing is certain...age has not been kind to him. He was almost a monet - from afar he looked half decent, but up close he was a big ole mess. I was thinking maybe it was the HD on the tv, but as the week has progressed, I wonder if he's had some plastic surgery done. It makes me a bit sad, but I'd still love on him as long as he talked "congressional dirty" to me....you know like saying "congressional resolution", "ways and means committee", "cloture motion". Hmmm...
circa 2002
circa now...sans creepstasche
Speaking of ways and means, last night was another run in with the Occupy DC people. Good lord the smell. They were wearing doctor's masks, sunglasses, and hats which completely obscured their faces but not their voices. Security was tight. A group of boys dressed in tuxes (and one in a white suit with a black turtleneck who looked like he belonged in an SNL sketch) somehow made it through security with us and then tried to push into our elevator. Within seconds, security was on them like a duck on a junebug. Once upstairs, more security. But I will have to say that I missed a golden opportunity to ask Nancy Pelosi who her plastic surgeon was, because goddamn yall. The bitches' face is flawless. True, she can hardly blink and her hair is such a disaster that the red cross wouldn't even give it coffee, but there is not one wrinkle on her face. It has to be more than just botox.
The best part of the night is when Fancy Nancy and I left the party, walking out with a former consultant of ours and we were accosted by the occupy people again. This time they looked directly at the consultant and screamed "DUDE. Are you the 1%?" while filming us. The consultant turns and looks at us to say goodnight, the protesters look at us to see if we, too, are part of the 1%. After assessing us, they decide that we are just like them and turn their focus back on the consultant. About a block down the road it suddenly hits me that the occupiers just insulted me by thinking I wasn't part of the elite. I started to turned around and give them a piece of my mind, but the cold wind started blowing and the stench carried with it....and I realized it wasn't worth my time or my sense of smell.
As I have previously mentioned with the ABC Family movies, these made-for-tv movies are some of my favorite.
Make sure you watch:
*A Season for Miracles with Carla Gugino who kidnaps her cracked out sister's kids and stows away in Bethlehem, Virginia. The hot male lead, David Conrad, makes this movie worth watching.
*On the Second Day of Christmas. This stars a poor, stealing Mary Stuart Masterson and Mark Ruffalo as the department store rent-a-cop who catches her. This is hokey, hokey, hokey but I love every minute of it.
*The Most Wonderful Time of the Year starring Fonzie and Brooke Burns. Again, hot male lead (not Fonzie). Totally unrealistic, but that's half the fun. Fonzie brings home to his niece a hottie that he met in the airport because he can read people and knows that hottie would be good for single mom Brooke Burns. They are already running the hell out of this movie, so be sure to watch!
Happy December ya'll! Only 24 shopping days until the BIG day. Sigh...I love christmas so much that you would think I am the baby jesus.
18. Scrooged
First, I love any version of a christmas carol. There is just something so rewarding about seeing Scrooge's black heart melt like snow. Second, I love anything Bill Murray is in, so automatically I loved this movie. Third, Bobcat Goldwaith is in it, so you know it will be a winner. And finally, the piece de resistance - Robert Goulet and cajun christmas carols.
I would tell you the story line, but alas, you should know it.
Favorite quotes: "bitch hit me with a toaster", "go back to Jersey, you moron!", and my favorite "you're a hallucination brought on by alcohol... russian vodka poisoned by Chernobyl!"
