french literally meaning "I don't know what"...which is exactly what this blog is. It's everything and anything I'm obsessed with...which are all totally random and all totally amazing.
But it would be better if it was. On some German talk show this week, Karl was a guest. Can you even imagine? And can you imagine Karl as a little boy? Little gloves, little glasses, little white collar. J'adore.
Something else I love...Karl holding a Karl doll...mind blowing.
Growing up, I had a group of 5 girlfriends - we called ourselves the sugar girls. Corny I know, but we were inseparable throughout high school. My friend Julie had the best house. Not only did she have an older brother with cute friends but she also had a trampoline and a pool...and when you're 15, what else could you possibly want in life? She also had a video camera. Which is where this G rated story is headed ( I know your sick mind was headed that way).
Julie thought it was a great idea to memorex every event. Like the book report - Animal Farm by George Orwell - that I faintly remember filming at my next door neighbors house because their kids had a play farm. I don't really remember much about the book or the video except that it ended with Ryan Jones jumping over me in roller blades across a very busy Pump Road. What that had to do with talking farm animals I'll never remember. There also was the time when we recreated Sampson, Abraham and Gregory from Romeo and Juliet. This, too, I faintly remember but it had something to do with getting the attention of Steven Schemmel and Scott Appicella, both of which I was in love with. Or the time when for our US government class, we recreated a robbery by "borrowing" my new next door neighbor, Mr. D's, white Mitsubishi 300x putting a flashing light on the top and driving up and down my cul-de-sac street really fast blaring the cops theme as my friend Lee climbed through my front window. No one seemed to care that a crazy red headed girl was speeding through the neighborhood or that a boy was climbing out of the house with a tv or the fact that my father also got into the video by dressing as "blind justice" wearing a black robe, a cane and sunglasses.
Where was I going with this walk down memory lane? Well last Thursday I woke up singing a song. This in itself isn't really odd for me. But I couldn't remember the words, only the music. And so for 5 days I've been humming and driving myself crazy only remembering "cocaine katie". It finally hit me...and I started to remember. You see, this too was a high school project that we videoed. I'll paint the scene - jeans, flannel (we were in costume), and some sort of instrument on Julie's patio singing this weirdo random song that her dad (a fiercely republican hippie) listened to over and over. "On the cover of the rolling stone". Never heard of it? Neither had Ann or I before we were coerced into performing the song.
The video is still out there...somewhere...along with my dignity and one of the many reasons I'll never be able to run for congress (but a congressional wife is totally fine Tim Ryan!)
This was a super long about way of giving you #13.5 on the holiday movie schedule, because I youtubed one of the songs and it triggered the "rolling stone" song. See, I had never seen of heard this movie until last week but I had multiple emails, texts, and even a CPs happy hour to discuss Emmit Otter. To be honest, I don't get it. Singing puppets are one thing but poor singing puppets? Well that's where I draw the line. Yes, I know that this Jim Hensen classic is supposed to teach is the true meaning of Christmas - that we are supposed to remember to love each other and not the presents and that's all well and good. But I'm pretty sure I would understand the meaning more with the LV drawstring monogrammed bag.
Oh man...where do I even begin? I did nothing on Sunday except lay on the couch, admire my lovely christmas tree, and watch Lifetime christmas movies which were stockpiled on the DVR.
Movies to watch:
-Undercover Christmas
-Moonlight and Mistletoe (awful, but so good)
-12 Men of Christmas
-A Boyfriend for Christmas
-Receipe for a Perfect Christmas (Bobby Canavale is soooo good)
-Road to Christmas (Jennifer Gray post nose job)
ps - this is a shitty post because Lala is hurrying me up to hit the gym!
As I've gotten older, I now wonder if this movie isn't some slight to the ginger community. So because his nose was red instead of black, the mean reindeers wouldn't let him play in their clique-ish games? Well you know what I say Rudy? I say who needs them! Who the hell needs them. They are all stupid with their stupid black noses. Its a good thing you ran away and became friends with probably, hands down, the best christmas character of all time. HERMEY. And I say this not because his name is almost like Hermes, but because Hermey has a dream. He wants to create a better life for himself, and dammit, he is going to be a dentist come hell or high water or santa. I mean, just look at his adorable face! For some reason, every time I see him I think that Alan Cumming would be a great person to play Hermey in a real-life adaptation of Rudolph.
While flipping channels Sunday night, I came across the saddest little movie starring the once hot Bradley Whitford. You might know him as Josh Lyman from TVs west wing. I only made it through 20 minutes of the movie before I had to switch - it was some tuesday's with maurie holiday crap - but one thing is certain...age has not been kind to him. He was almost a monet - from afar he looked half decent, but up close he was a big ole mess. I was thinking maybe it was the HD on the tv, but as the week has progressed, I wonder if he's had some plastic surgery done. It makes me a bit sad, but I'd still love on him as long as he talked "congressional dirty" to me....you know like saying "congressional resolution", "ways and means committee", "cloture motion". Hmmm...
circa 2002
circa now...sans creepstasche
Speaking of ways and means, last night was another run in with the Occupy DC people. Good lord the smell. They were wearing doctor's masks, sunglasses, and hats which completely obscured their faces but not their voices. Security was tight. A group of boys dressed in tuxes (and one in a white suit with a black turtleneck who looked like he belonged in an SNL sketch) somehow made it through security with us and then tried to push into our elevator. Within seconds, security was on them like a duck on a junebug. Once upstairs, more security. But I will have to say that I missed a golden opportunity to ask Nancy Pelosi who her plastic surgeon was, because goddamn yall. The bitches' face is flawless. True, she can hardly blink and her hair is such a disaster that the red cross wouldn't even give it coffee, but there is not one wrinkle on her face. It has to be more than just botox.
The best part of the night is when Fancy Nancy and I left the party, walking out with a former consultant of ours and we were accosted by the occupy people again. This time they looked directly at the consultant and screamed "DUDE. Are you the 1%?" while filming us. The consultant turns and looks at us to say goodnight, the protesters look at us to see if we, too, are part of the 1%. After assessing us, they decide that we are just like them and turn their focus back on the consultant. About a block down the road it suddenly hits me that the occupiers just insulted me by thinking I wasn't part of the elite. I started to turned around and give them a piece of my mind, but the cold wind started blowing and the stench carried with it....and I realized it wasn't worth my time or my sense of smell.
As I have previously mentioned with the ABC Family movies, these made-for-tv movies are some of my favorite.
Make sure you watch:
*A Season for Miracles with Carla Gugino who kidnaps her cracked out sister's kids and stows away in Bethlehem, Virginia. The hot male lead, David Conrad, makes this movie worth watching.
*On the Second Day of Christmas. This stars a poor, stealing Mary Stuart Masterson and Mark Ruffalo as the department store rent-a-cop who catches her. This is hokey, hokey, hokey but I love every minute of it.
*The Most Wonderful Time of the Year starring Fonzie and Brooke Burns. Again, hot male lead (not Fonzie). Totally unrealistic, but that's half the fun. Fonzie brings home to his niece a hottie that he met in the airport because he can read people and knows that hottie would be good for single mom Brooke Burns. They are already running the hell out of this movie, so be sure to watch!
Happy December ya'll! Only 24 shopping days until the BIG day. Sigh...I love christmas so much that you would think I am the baby jesus.
18. Scrooged
First, I love any version of a christmas carol. There is just something so rewarding about seeing Scrooge's black heart melt like snow. Second, I love anything Bill Murray is in, so automatically I loved this movie. Third, Bobcat Goldwaith is in it, so you know it will be a winner. And finally, the piece de resistance - Robert Goulet and cajun christmas carols.
I would tell you the story line, but alas, you should know it.
Favorite quotes: "bitch hit me with a toaster", "go back to Jersey, you moron!", and my favorite "you're a hallucination brought on by alcohol... russian vodka poisoned by Chernobyl!"
