I hope everyone had a nice and safe halloween. No razor blades found, no roofies in drinks. Halloween used to be my most favorite holiday after Christmas. But this year, with the rain, snow, the sub-zero temperature and the lack of candy around the office, I am just over it. However, I had a peanut butter snickers this weekend and it was like heaven in my mouth. Seriously. Pick up a bag or ten.
So, let's just get the news out of the way shall we? Kim Kardashian is getting divorced after 72 days. I mean, who the hell didn't see this coming? Why did she rush into it in the first place? Why would Kris go along with it? And do you know what she could have done with the $10 million dollars spent on her sham wedding? Fed people. Donated it to a college for a new science wing (ha! right. Kim probably couldnt even spell science). Clothing for the homeless. Purchase me a birkin or two. Oh...did I mention, feed people.
Here's the thing. You can do anything for a year. They could have lived on seperate coasts, made it work for the publicity. Did she think people would forget about her down the road? Oh, one can only hope. But 72 days? Quitter.
XO,
B
Monday, October 31, 2011
Friday, October 28, 2011
because I'm sick and not creative today
Because he makes me happy, I give you a special Friday edition of Bunny's Fake Boyfriend.
If you don't think Carlos looks amazingly hot in the above photo, then you should probably kill yourself.
XO,
Bunny
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| please excuse tony's big head and goofy grin and notice the jaw line, strong nose, and laugh lines. |
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| 2011 Roland Garros that is a good head of hair! and I bet blue really brings out his eyes. |
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| 2011 watch party for the $500K watch Rafa, Tony and CC all sport. he is tan and gorgeous and I'm in love |
XO,
Bunny
walking in a winter wonderland?
Ladies and gentlemen....this is some bullshit.
Um, hello! It's October 28th. No way in hell should there be snow on the ground in DC. In the mountains - perhaps. But it's not even halloween! And yesterday was 70 degrees! Obviously, Mother Nature read my post yesterday about the rain/snow boots and got excited. This almost makes me want to climb into bed and not get out till March.
XO,
B
XO,
B
Thursday, October 27, 2011
tut, tut. It looks like rain.
I heard on the news last week that the East Coast will have more precipitation this fall/winter due to La Nina. Which I pronounce Laaaaaaaaa Neeeeeeeennnna. Don't judge. Most of you would say - ehhhh, I don't believe it, but because we've had nothing but rain the last 2 months, now you all are nodding your head and praying for spring.
But just because we might be snowed in for weeks at a time, it does not mean that you can't look cute! Nordstroms was kind enough to send me a wellie-gram and I thought I would share the pretty. Personally, I cannot wear tall boots because God cursed me with Hungarian shock putter calves, but that doesn't mean you should be without.
But just because we might be snowed in for weeks at a time, it does not mean that you can't look cute! Nordstroms was kind enough to send me a wellie-gram and I thought I would share the pretty. Personally, I cannot wear tall boots because God cursed me with Hungarian shock putter calves, but that doesn't mean you should be without.
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| Burberry Love the stylish orange tassel! Seems to say, "I'm hip but classic. I'm smart, yet spent $400 on a pair of rain boots." |
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| The classic Hunter. But for the girl who refuses to wear flats. The horror! |
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| Kate Spade. Did you even have to ask if it was Kate? I love the bow, but see these only on the young mom desperately trying to be hip. FYI - It's not working. |
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| Sperry ORANGE. LOVE. DEAD. |
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| Sperry I love the chic riding boot-esque of this wellie. |
And if you just want to tell La Nina to go to hell, that you will not be caught in these awful things, then check out the new Guccis. They are embellished with clear crystals so they will sparkle!
XO,
Bunny
these are a few of my favorite things
I'm sick. I have a vicious cold that has decided to host in my body and make me miserable. At least it could have been a stomach flu so I could lose 10 lbs. How rude.
But in the news today, there is a man that never gets sick, though if I was as rich as him I wouldn't get sick either. In fact I doubt he even sleeps. How could he? He's Karl. Yep, my pretend BFF announced this week that he was a touch bored so he's decided to do his own clothing line - this being separate from Chanel, Fendi, and Karl Lagerfeld Impulse for Macy's. Actually, he's doing two clothing lines, because one would be so demode. The lower-priced line, called "Karl" (genius) will price between $85 to $415 while the higher-priced collection, "Karl Lagerfeld Paris," will be about $415 to $3,465. And because Karl is a giver, you will be able to purchase on net-a-porter.com. Don't worry...I've already signed up for email reminders.
Oh...and let's not forget the nerd rage I had last night when I saw that the Kaiser will also do a watch line for Fossil. The sad part, they won't be out until Spring 2013. Can I even wait that long?
And to bring you (read: me) some happy today, feast your eyes on this video. How do you think I get to be the makeup girl/clothes helper-outter?
Hugs and sniffles,
XO
B
But in the news today, there is a man that never gets sick, though if I was as rich as him I wouldn't get sick either. In fact I doubt he even sleeps. How could he? He's Karl. Yep, my pretend BFF announced this week that he was a touch bored so he's decided to do his own clothing line - this being separate from Chanel, Fendi, and Karl Lagerfeld Impulse for Macy's. Actually, he's doing two clothing lines, because one would be so demode. The lower-priced line, called "Karl" (genius) will price between $85 to $415 while the higher-priced collection, "Karl Lagerfeld Paris," will be about $415 to $3,465. And because Karl is a giver, you will be able to purchase on net-a-porter.com. Don't worry...I've already signed up for email reminders.
Oh...and let's not forget the nerd rage I had last night when I saw that the Kaiser will also do a watch line for Fossil. The sad part, they won't be out until Spring 2013. Can I even wait that long?
And to bring you (read: me) some happy today, feast your eyes on this video. How do you think I get to be the makeup girl/clothes helper-outter?
Hugs and sniffles,
XO
B
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
L is for the way you look at me
After the wedding post yesterday, I thought I would post an article that appeared on the Huffington Post in February for the singlets. It's by Tracy McMillan who writes for Mad Men (love) among others. The title is "why you're not married". It's not only funny, but very insightful. After reading #1, I realized I'll probably die alone...but then I read #2 and remember getting so angry at Fancy Nancy for his lack of knowledge about Hermes H belts and Louis XI Ghost chairs let alone an Eames chair and that relationship is in no way romantic (sorry pal).
Enjoy!
XO
Bunny
Why You're Not Married by Tracy McMillan
You want to get married. It's taken a while to admit it. Saying it out loud -- even in your mind -- feels kind of desperate, kind of unfeminist, kind of definitely not you, or at least not any you that you recognize. Because you're hardly like those girls on TLC saying yes to the dress and you would never compete for a man like those poor actress-wannabes on The Bachelor.
You've never dreamt of an aqua-blue ring box.
Then, something happened. Another birthday, maybe. A breakup. Your brother's wedding. His wife-elect asked you to be a bridesmaid, and suddenly there you were, wondering how in hell you came to be 36-years-old, walking down the aisle wearing something halfway decent from J. Crew that you could totally repurpose with a cute pair of boots and a jean jacket. You started to hate the bride -- she was so effing happy -- and for the first time ever you began to have feelings about the fact that you're not married. You never really cared that much before. But suddenly (it was so sudden) you found yourself wondering... Deep, deep breath... Why you're not married.
Well, I know why.
How? It basically comes down to this: I've been married three times. Yes, three. To a very nice MBA at 19; a very nice minister's son at 32 (and pregnant); and at 40, to a very nice liar and cheater who was just like my dad, if my dad had gone to Harvard instead of doing multiple stints in federal prison.
I was, for some reason, born knowing how to get married. Growing up in foster care is a big part of it. The need for security made me look for very specific traits in the men I dated -- traits it turns out lead to marriage a surprisingly high percentage of the time. Without really trying to, I've become a sort of jailhouse lawyer of relationships -- someone who's had to do so much work on her own case that I can now help you with yours.
But I won't lie. The problem is not men, it's you. Sure, there are lame men out there, but they're not really standing in your way. Because the fact is -- if whatever you're doing right now was going to get you married, you'd already have a ring on it. So without further ado, let's look at the top six reasons why you're not married.
1. You're a Bitch.
Here's what I mean by bitch. I mean you're angry. You probably don't think you're angry. You think you're super smart, or if you've been to a lot of therapy, that you're setting boundaries. But the truth is you're pissed. At your mom. At the military-industrial complex. At Sarah Palin. And it's scaring men off.
The deal is: most men just want to marry someone who is nice to them. I am the mother of a 13-year-old boy, which is like living with the single-cell protozoa version of a husband. Here's what my son wants out of life: macaroni and cheese, a video game, and Kim Kardashian. Have you ever seen Kim Kardashian angry? I didn't think so. You've seen Kim Kardashian smile, wiggle, and make a sex tape. Female anger terrifies men. I know it seems unfair that you have to work around a man's fear and insecurity in order to get married -- but actually, it's perfect, since working around a man's fear and insecurity is big part of what you'll be doing as a wife.
2. You're Shallow.
When it comes to choosing a husband, only one thing really, truly matters: character. So it stands to reason that a man's character should be at the top of the list of things you are looking for, right? But if you're not married, I already know it isn't. Because if you were looking for a man of character, you would have found one by now. Men of character are, by definition, willing to commit.
Instead, you are looking for someone tall. Or rich. Or someone who knows what an Eames chair is. Unfortunately, this is not the thinking of a wife. This is the thinking of a teenaged girl. And men of character do not want to marry teenaged girls. Because teenage girls are never happy. And they never feel like cooking, either.
3. You're a Slut.
Hooking up with some guy in a hot tub on a rooftop is fine for the ladies of Jersey Shore -- but they're not trying to get married. You are. Which means, unfortunately, that if you're having sex outside committed relationships, you will have to stop. Why? Because past a certain age, casual sex is like recreational heroin -- it doesn't stay recreational for long.
That's due in part to this thing called oxytocin -- a bonding hormone that is released when a woman a) nurses her baby and b) has an orgasm -- that will totally mess up your casual-sex game. It's why you can be f**k-buddying with some dude who isn't even all that great and the next thing you know, you're totally strung out on him. And you have no idea how it happened. Oxytocin, that's how it happened. And since nature can't discriminate between marriage material and Charlie Sheen, you're going to have to start being way more selective than you are right now.
4. You're a Liar.
It usually goes something like this: you meet a guy who is cute and likes you, but he's not really available for a relationship. He has some condition that absolutely precludes his availability, like he's married, or he gets around town on a skateboard. Or maybe he just comes right out and says something cryptic and open to interpretation like, "I'm not really available for a relationship right now."
You know if you tell him the truth -- that you're ready for marriage -- he will stop calling. Usually that day. And you don't want that. So you just tell him how perfect this is because you only want to have sex for fun! You love having fun sex! And you don't want to get in a relationship at all! You swear!
About ten minutes later, the oxytocin kicks in. You start wanting more. But you don't tell him that. That's your secret -- just between you and 22,000 of your closest girlfriends. Instead, you hang around, having sex with him, waiting for him to figure out that he can't live without you. I have news: he will never "figure" this out. He already knows he can live without you just fine. And so do you. Or you wouldn't be lying to him in the first place.
5. You're Selfish.
If you're not married, chances are you think a lot about you. You think about your thighs, your outfits, your naso-labial folds. You think about your career, or if you don't have one, you think about doing yoga teacher training. Sometimes you think about how marrying a wealthy guy -- or at least a guy with a really, really good job -- would solve all your problems.
Howevs, a good wife, even a halfway decent one, does not spend most of her day thinking about herself. She has too much s**t to do, especially after having kids. This is why you see a lot of celebrity women getting husbands after they adopt. The kids put the woman on notice: Bitch, hello! It's not all about you anymore! After a year or two of thinking about someone other than herself, suddenly, Brad Pitt or Harrison Ford comes along and decides to significantly other her. Which is also to say -- if what you really want is a baby, go get you one. Your husband will be along shortly. Motherhood has a way of weeding out the lotharios.
6. You're Not Good Enough.
Oh, I don't think that. You do. I can tell because you're not looking for a partner who is your equal. No, you want someone better than you are: better looking, better family, better job.
Here is what you need to know: You are enough right this minute. Period. Not understanding this is a major obstacle to getting married, since women who don't know their own worth make terrible wives. Why? You can fake it for a while, but ultimately you won't love your spouse any better than you love yourself. Smart men know this.
I see this at my son's artsy, progressive school. Of 183 kids, maybe six have moms who are as cute as you're trying to be. They're attractive, sure. They're just not objects. Their husbands (wisely) chose them for their character, not their cup size.
Alright, so that's the bad news. The good news is that I believe every woman who wants to can find a great partner. You're just going to need to get rid of the idea that marriage will make you happy. It won't. Once the initial high wears off, you'll just be you, except with twice as much laundry.
Because ultimately, marriage is not about getting something -- it's about giving it. Strangely, men understand this more than we do. Probably because for them marriage involves sacrificing their most treasured possession -- a free-agent penis -- and for us, it's the culmination of a princess fantasy so universal, it built Disneyland.
The bottom line is that marriage is just a long-term opportunity to practice loving someone even when they don't deserve it. Because most of the time, your messy, farting, macaroni-and-cheese eating man will not be doing what you want him to. But as you give him love anyway -- because you have made up your mind to transform yourself into a person who is practicing being kind, deep, virtuous, truthful, giving, and most of all, accepting of your own dear self -- you will find that you will experience the very thing you wanted all along:
Love.
Enjoy!
XO
Bunny
Why You're Not Married by Tracy McMillan
You want to get married. It's taken a while to admit it. Saying it out loud -- even in your mind -- feels kind of desperate, kind of unfeminist, kind of definitely not you, or at least not any you that you recognize. Because you're hardly like those girls on TLC saying yes to the dress and you would never compete for a man like those poor actress-wannabes on The Bachelor.
You've never dreamt of an aqua-blue ring box.
Then, something happened. Another birthday, maybe. A breakup. Your brother's wedding. His wife-elect asked you to be a bridesmaid, and suddenly there you were, wondering how in hell you came to be 36-years-old, walking down the aisle wearing something halfway decent from J. Crew that you could totally repurpose with a cute pair of boots and a jean jacket. You started to hate the bride -- she was so effing happy -- and for the first time ever you began to have feelings about the fact that you're not married. You never really cared that much before. But suddenly (it was so sudden) you found yourself wondering... Deep, deep breath... Why you're not married.
Well, I know why.
How? It basically comes down to this: I've been married three times. Yes, three. To a very nice MBA at 19; a very nice minister's son at 32 (and pregnant); and at 40, to a very nice liar and cheater who was just like my dad, if my dad had gone to Harvard instead of doing multiple stints in federal prison.
I was, for some reason, born knowing how to get married. Growing up in foster care is a big part of it. The need for security made me look for very specific traits in the men I dated -- traits it turns out lead to marriage a surprisingly high percentage of the time. Without really trying to, I've become a sort of jailhouse lawyer of relationships -- someone who's had to do so much work on her own case that I can now help you with yours.
But I won't lie. The problem is not men, it's you. Sure, there are lame men out there, but they're not really standing in your way. Because the fact is -- if whatever you're doing right now was going to get you married, you'd already have a ring on it. So without further ado, let's look at the top six reasons why you're not married.
1. You're a Bitch.
Here's what I mean by bitch. I mean you're angry. You probably don't think you're angry. You think you're super smart, or if you've been to a lot of therapy, that you're setting boundaries. But the truth is you're pissed. At your mom. At the military-industrial complex. At Sarah Palin. And it's scaring men off.
The deal is: most men just want to marry someone who is nice to them. I am the mother of a 13-year-old boy, which is like living with the single-cell protozoa version of a husband. Here's what my son wants out of life: macaroni and cheese, a video game, and Kim Kardashian. Have you ever seen Kim Kardashian angry? I didn't think so. You've seen Kim Kardashian smile, wiggle, and make a sex tape. Female anger terrifies men. I know it seems unfair that you have to work around a man's fear and insecurity in order to get married -- but actually, it's perfect, since working around a man's fear and insecurity is big part of what you'll be doing as a wife.
2. You're Shallow.
When it comes to choosing a husband, only one thing really, truly matters: character. So it stands to reason that a man's character should be at the top of the list of things you are looking for, right? But if you're not married, I already know it isn't. Because if you were looking for a man of character, you would have found one by now. Men of character are, by definition, willing to commit.
Instead, you are looking for someone tall. Or rich. Or someone who knows what an Eames chair is. Unfortunately, this is not the thinking of a wife. This is the thinking of a teenaged girl. And men of character do not want to marry teenaged girls. Because teenage girls are never happy. And they never feel like cooking, either.
3. You're a Slut.
Hooking up with some guy in a hot tub on a rooftop is fine for the ladies of Jersey Shore -- but they're not trying to get married. You are. Which means, unfortunately, that if you're having sex outside committed relationships, you will have to stop. Why? Because past a certain age, casual sex is like recreational heroin -- it doesn't stay recreational for long.
That's due in part to this thing called oxytocin -- a bonding hormone that is released when a woman a) nurses her baby and b) has an orgasm -- that will totally mess up your casual-sex game. It's why you can be f**k-buddying with some dude who isn't even all that great and the next thing you know, you're totally strung out on him. And you have no idea how it happened. Oxytocin, that's how it happened. And since nature can't discriminate between marriage material and Charlie Sheen, you're going to have to start being way more selective than you are right now.
4. You're a Liar.
It usually goes something like this: you meet a guy who is cute and likes you, but he's not really available for a relationship. He has some condition that absolutely precludes his availability, like he's married, or he gets around town on a skateboard. Or maybe he just comes right out and says something cryptic and open to interpretation like, "I'm not really available for a relationship right now."
You know if you tell him the truth -- that you're ready for marriage -- he will stop calling. Usually that day. And you don't want that. So you just tell him how perfect this is because you only want to have sex for fun! You love having fun sex! And you don't want to get in a relationship at all! You swear!
About ten minutes later, the oxytocin kicks in. You start wanting more. But you don't tell him that. That's your secret -- just between you and 22,000 of your closest girlfriends. Instead, you hang around, having sex with him, waiting for him to figure out that he can't live without you. I have news: he will never "figure" this out. He already knows he can live without you just fine. And so do you. Or you wouldn't be lying to him in the first place.
5. You're Selfish.
If you're not married, chances are you think a lot about you. You think about your thighs, your outfits, your naso-labial folds. You think about your career, or if you don't have one, you think about doing yoga teacher training. Sometimes you think about how marrying a wealthy guy -- or at least a guy with a really, really good job -- would solve all your problems.
Howevs, a good wife, even a halfway decent one, does not spend most of her day thinking about herself. She has too much s**t to do, especially after having kids. This is why you see a lot of celebrity women getting husbands after they adopt. The kids put the woman on notice: Bitch, hello! It's not all about you anymore! After a year or two of thinking about someone other than herself, suddenly, Brad Pitt or Harrison Ford comes along and decides to significantly other her. Which is also to say -- if what you really want is a baby, go get you one. Your husband will be along shortly. Motherhood has a way of weeding out the lotharios.
6. You're Not Good Enough.
Oh, I don't think that. You do. I can tell because you're not looking for a partner who is your equal. No, you want someone better than you are: better looking, better family, better job.
Here is what you need to know: You are enough right this minute. Period. Not understanding this is a major obstacle to getting married, since women who don't know their own worth make terrible wives. Why? You can fake it for a while, but ultimately you won't love your spouse any better than you love yourself. Smart men know this.
I see this at my son's artsy, progressive school. Of 183 kids, maybe six have moms who are as cute as you're trying to be. They're attractive, sure. They're just not objects. Their husbands (wisely) chose them for their character, not their cup size.
Alright, so that's the bad news. The good news is that I believe every woman who wants to can find a great partner. You're just going to need to get rid of the idea that marriage will make you happy. It won't. Once the initial high wears off, you'll just be you, except with twice as much laundry.
Because ultimately, marriage is not about getting something -- it's about giving it. Strangely, men understand this more than we do. Probably because for them marriage involves sacrificing their most treasured possession -- a free-agent penis -- and for us, it's the culmination of a princess fantasy so universal, it built Disneyland.
The bottom line is that marriage is just a long-term opportunity to practice loving someone even when they don't deserve it. Because most of the time, your messy, farting, macaroni-and-cheese eating man will not be doing what you want him to. But as you give him love anyway -- because you have made up your mind to transform yourself into a person who is practicing being kind, deep, virtuous, truthful, giving, and most of all, accepting of your own dear self -- you will find that you will experience the very thing you wanted all along:
Love.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
lock it up.
There is something about attending a wedding that stops and makes you think about life. Where you've been, where you are headed...family, babies, the future. Not to be corny, but there is a line from the movie Wedding Crashers when Owen Wilson tells Rachel McAdams that the reason people attend weddings is the hope of seeing true love. "True love is the soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another." You always pray that it's "the one" for your friend, but sometimes you have this tiny nagging that you know it won't last.
The wedding I attended this weekend was perfect. In fact, I've never seen two people more content and happy with each other than Maggie and Troy. As cynical and jaded as we might become, when you witness the start of a good relationship you realize that love does exist and a glimmer of hope starts to form inside you.
Mazel Tov! to the happy couple.
Best quotes of the weekend:
"They have mini-doughnuts!" - ML
"They have mini-grilled cheese!!" - ML 5 minutes after the doughnut
And to because he wanted to make it into the blog....
ANDY! ANDY! ANDY!
XOXOXO,
Bunny
The wedding I attended this weekend was perfect. In fact, I've never seen two people more content and happy with each other than Maggie and Troy. As cynical and jaded as we might become, when you witness the start of a good relationship you realize that love does exist and a glimmer of hope starts to form inside you.
Mazel Tov! to the happy couple.
Best quotes of the weekend:
"They have mini-doughnuts!" - ML
"They have mini-grilled cheese!!" - ML 5 minutes after the doughnut
And to because he wanted to make it into the blog....
ANDY! ANDY! ANDY!
XOXOXO,
Bunny
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