Tuesday, January 17, 2012

are golden globes the same thing as blue balls?

I know everyone upon everyone has posted their review of the Golden Globes held on Sunday, but without internet at my house (I know, its like the stone age) and some insensitive person scheduled a dinner during the show (rude), I'm a day late and a dollar short.  But never the less ...

First let me say that every time I watch the sit-down-dinner shows, there never seems to be enough room between the tables. I guess the reason is for tv shots, but it really bugs me when 25 people have to get up to let the winner through. And these are Hollywood peeps who only weigh 90 lbs and could squeeze into an ant hole, so you know the tables are tight.

Another thing - the plastic surgery is OUT OF CONTROL. Poor Julianna Margulies looked like she had bells palsy her face was so tight.  And don't get me started on Madeline Stowe. When you can't blink, it's time to stop.

The human wax figures known as Brad and Angie, were looking especially shiny and statuesque.  I swear that dress made her look 25 lbs heavier since we saw them at dinner last week. She should fire her stylist immediately and hire someone who will go above and beyond to make her look human.

I'm not going to cut and paste photos because that would take forever and homegirl is busy. So I'll do some nice bullets.

*I've said it before, but it's so odd to hear Stringer Bell (Idris Elba) speak in a British accent. I'm still waiting for him to find Omar and bust a cap.

*I am over Michelle Williams and her pixie haircut. For the love of Karl, please grow it out. 

*The love affair between George Clooney and Brad Pitt is becoming awkward. Just do it already and shut up.

*Channing Tatum - cute as a button. Not quite smart as one.

*What happened to Mark Wahlberg? He didn't look quite right.

*Was Paula Patton drunk? Every time someone won, she was jumping up and down in her banana gown.

*Who, in their right mind, hooks up with Kelsey Grammer? I just don't get it.

*Perfection all around - Claire Danes, Tilda Swinson (god, she SCARES me), Charlize Theron, Elle McPherson, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Alba, Diane Lane.

*Cute dresses but that's about it: Zooey Dechanel, Madonna, Kelly Osbourne, Sarah Michelle Gellar (yes - let the backlash begin).

*Bad, bad, bad: The glee girls (except Mercedes). Santana's dress was puckered all down the front and that ho bag Lea Michelle looked cheap...and not in a good way.

Can't wait for the next awards show...and maybe I'll post in a timely manner!


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