Monday, April 30, 2012

the dc prom

Saturday was cold and rainy in the nation's capital and it made my heart warm knowing that all these celebrities would be miserable. As you all know, my invite wasn't delivered so I couldn't stand in person at the Hilton and impose my fashion "ehhh" face to those who needed it. Let's do a run down of the night shall we?

Arianna Huffington
WOOOOF. I give you snaps for using color, but holy crapballs - no.
Elizabeth Banks
Elle Macpherson
Gayle King
Oh honey. No.

Alicia Keys
Seems Alicia broke away from her delicious dinner at Fudruckers to attend this
little dinner down the street. This is something you would wear to the mall, not a black tie gala.

Ivanka Trump
You go Glenn Coco.
Kate Hudson
LOVE everything about this. The hair, the dress, EVERYTHING.

Mama Kris and little Kimmy Sue
Listen, this is about as demure as both get.
HOWEVER, should mom have been wearing a bra - absolutely.
Lindsey Lohan
I expected worse from her. She actually looks good.
She looks healthy and her hair is back to a normal color.
What is with the shit-eating smirk? I guess she did an okay job being preggers and all.
I'm so over True Blood that I have no idea why they would be invited again this year.
Tory Burch.
Listen, me and Tory need to sit down and have a little talk about
how TB has lost her fucking mind. Everytime I turn around, she has upped the prices on her
mediocre stuff. One trip to her store this weekend and I wanted to claw my eyes out.
Martha Stewart
Um. No words.
Again, if he wasn't 19 and 4'11, I would have already
made him by baby daddy.
Rachel Zoe
I wish you could have seen me Saturday morning when I heard RZ
was attending the dinner. I almost had a meltdown.
Not because I love her (which I do!), but who the fuck invited RZ and not me?
Also, Rachel dear, eat a burger or something. Your gauntess is disgusting.
Ladies and gentlemen, Sigourny Weaver in her next role as the Statue of Liberty.
Claire Danes
Sloppy, sloppy, sloppy.
Goldie Hawn
CUT YOUR BANGS. I just can't with this woman anymore.



1 comment:

Fauxanna Wintour said...

Your blog brightens up what is definitely a crappy ass kind of day. Smile. And I agree Rachel Zoe and not you? Something is wrong with this situation.