Cheetos eating, no shoe wearing Brit-Brit is back ya'll with a new song "Criminal" and a new video to accompany it. It's basically her and her poor-man's Sam Merlotte looking boyfriend making sweet lurrrve. The premise is lil Brit is in a volatile relationship with a foreigner. After he slaps her in the face, Sam shows up, beats his ass and hops on his hog and takes the motorcycle with him. HA! KIDDING. Everyone in the world knows I love me some BSpears. But see, good girl has gone bad. Sam is a criminal. He has a gun (gun, gun, guuuun). He has tattoos! The horror. And because she loves him that means she is a criminal too. Lord, Britney. Let's try and find you a nice boy with no baggage.
A couple things about this video....
1. B's dress is amazing. She really can pull off what would look tacky on anyone else.
2. Did she really need 15 sprays of her perfume? I bet she stunk to high heaven.
3. Sam's back tattoo is out.of.control. Did they really think he needed something that large?
4. If you are going to rob some place, at least make it a Cartier or Hermes. A mini-mart? Over some milk? No, girl. You're cute. You could have flirted your way to some groceries. Also, you probably should have worn some type of mask. Just an fyi.
5. Who kills some people for milk? I know it was filmed in London and the pound is outrageous compared to the dollar, but seriously? See #4.
6. She tells her mama that she'll be alright, but ya'll she lied to her mama.
Once, after driving past a house with cop cars and motorcycles, my mama was convinced it was a drug deal gone bad. I asked how she had formed this idea. Did she read something in the newspaper? Did she see something on tv? No. It was because of the motorcycles. She said and I quote "I know because racy people lead racy lives, darling."