Monday, July 25, 2011

Spoiler Ethics 101

Little monsters,

I'm extremely honored to write a guest post for Bunny today! I thought I was going to be the 100th post, but Bunny probably wrote something about Rafa's abs that stole all my glory. Damn you, hot Spaniard! Are your 10 major titles not enough?!?!

Anyway, it's been a running theme here at the office for us to pick on New Girl and today is no exception. (Although I think we just like to tease her because she's so cute, and really, for being so new, she fits in way too well with the rest of us weirdos.)

But this is directed at New Girl, and people in general who are so far behind on TV series, movies, or books, that those of us who watch in real time cannot talk about pop culture without someone getting mad that we are revealing a spoiler. Well, guess what? I don't care. If you do not watch the season finale of a show within 1 week of it airing or see a movie before it's out of the theater, or if you come to book club to discuss a book THAT YOU HAVE NOT FINISHED so other people cannot talk about the ending or basically any plot point of the book that has any relevance whatsoever then I DON'T CARE if it gets spoiled for you. Someone literally told me the other day, "Shh. Don't talk about Inception, I haven't seen it yet." And I'm all like GUESS WHAT, ASSHOLE? I AM going to tell you how it ends because you had a freakin' year to see it in the theater or on demand. If you don't want to hear about the movie then leave the conversation and don't hang out with me. And seriously fast forward your life so you're not living on permanent tape delay.

But this morning, New Girl says to me and Bunny, "I can't believe one of my friends told me that Drogo dies on Game of Thrones! Now I don't even want to watch anymore." But here's the thing: Game of Thrones was written in like 1996. So it's really no spoiler that Khal Drogo dies because there's been a good, oh, 15 YEARS, for people to find that out.

And I can't even count the number of people who are all "Don't tell me if Harry dies. Don't tell me if Snape is good or bad." And I just want to smack them. How did they not run immediately to the bookstore in 2007 to figure that out?! Don't expect me to contain my all-consuming love for Snape (which couldn't fit into his entire collection of potion bottles). Seriously. Just don't even be my friend.

Now it's one thing if someone sees a movie like the Sixth Sense on opening night and then tells everyone the next day that Bruce Willis is actually dead. That is rude. Obviously there is an appropriate time-lapse that one should follow with regard to spoiler ethics. (Writing that just made me sad that M. Night Shamalayayasdkjfhaskdj never made another good movie.)

So I refuse to feel bad for people who are like "Oh, don't tell me how the BIBLE ends because I haven't read it yet."

And yeah, I am going to keep spoiling things for people and loving it.


ps- New Girl, Ned dies too. I bet you're gonna feel like this guy:


New Girl said...

Ummm, all I have to say is Who is that girl and why is she so mean?? I'm talking to you Lady Lala! I can't believe you just told me about Ned! Seriously?? And Bunny, you're mean too because you are the one that just made me read this entry!

Oh, and who honestly read the Game of Thrones books other than my sister and Mother? I mean, seriously? C'mon!!!!!

Bunny said...

Oh my god...this is hysterical. And so was "New Girl's" face after she read this post. I'm still laughing about it. Classic.

Mo said...

Bruce Willis dies in Sixth Sense??? Declined!

Kelly said...

someone told me the ending to sixth sense after i told her that i hadn't seen it. i'm still mad at that b.

but def agreed. esp during finales season...