A letter to the white house crashers/ former real housewives of DC "stars" (and I use "stars" very loosely).
Dear Michaele and Tariq Salahi:
No one cares about you. No one cares that you are getting a divorce. No one believed for a second that there was a kidnapping. No one would be stupid enough to do that - 1. you have no money and 2. you are creepy, weird, and annoying.
And Michaele, Journey? Really? Next time try to be a groupie of a band that isn't from 1984.
Please move to the West Coast and disappear from life. Both of you. Immediately.