Thursday, May 19, 2011

orange is the new pink

I admit it. I was me. I was the one who caught the disease first.  And I was the one who passed along to my co-workers.  And I am the one still suffering from it...and probably will be through the summer and maybe into october.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen...My name is Bunny and I'm a tanorexic.

For years I have suffered at the hands of god because of my coloring.  Every summer my girl friends would roast to a golden brown while I burnt to a crisp after 15 minutes.  The only thing keeping me going was praying that the freckles would form together to hypnotize me into thinking I was tan.  But all that changed about 8 years ago when sunless tan became the rage.  Everyone was making a cream or handi-wipe that could instantly make you tan.  Don't think I didn't run out and buy every single product.  I tried L'Oreal, Clarins, Jergens - you name it, I tried it.  They streaked, stunk, turned me orange, one even stained my hands so bad that I thought about calling out of work so no one would see me.  Eventually, I gave up.  I decided that in the long run I should be happy with what I have.  Wellllll, all that changed while walking through Target a couple of weekends ago.  It was a rainy Sunday and I was bored, walking up and down each aisle when I discovered this:
"What the hell" I thought and I purchased the brown one...yes, I know it was over reaching, but honey badger don't give a shit.  And voila! I finally found something that works.  The smell is minimal; the color great.  I've had no sheet staining on my white sheets and it lasts pretty long. Even sweating at the gym and showers don't seem to wipe the base off, which I really like.

But the body dismorphia has set in...and I can't stop reapplying...and I can't tell that I'm tan.  I wait with baited breath to hear someone ask me "have you been on vacay because you are so tan!".  It happened 3 times last week and it was like a bit of heroin every time.

the contrast between my arm and my leg
I can't wait to show off my tan next weekend!
I've told everyone I come in contact with, to purchase the lotion immediately...which is why everyone at work is now tanned and bronzed.  It has become an epidemic.  An epidemic that I started. Just like the pied piper...

sun kissed Bunny

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