Tuesday, May 24, 2011

they both have money in common

Oh kiddies...your mama is tired. Like exhausted.  And when I woke up it was raining and the apartment was cold...it was perfect sleeping weather. But never fear.  I made it to work just so I could catch you up on last night's shows.

Too Big To Fail or how Warren Buffet is the shit:
Even if you don't care or understand the financial crisis that america went through 3 years ago, this was still a great movie...with amazing casting.  Though I have a bone to pick...the part where Paulson took the plan to Congress to review and vote on.  Sitting at the table were about 20 congressional leaders.  If you are a nerd like I am, you could instantly recognize the players - B. Frank, Chris Dodd, Nancy Pelosi.  However, when "Senator Richard Shelby" started speaking, I almost fell off the couch.  Good lord - that was the worst casting I have ever seen.  Totally ugly and looked nothing like the real Shelby. Granted, I'm probably the only person in world to have a crush on Shelby, but he really should sue.  And this actor's "southern" accent was appalling. And that's what hurts the most.

There were definite winners and losers in the movie/life.  Winner: Jamie Dimon who came off looking mature and smart.  Loser: Dick Fuld.  Lehman basically went under because he couldn't keep his ego in check.  Winner: Warren Buffet.  How sick is it to be the guy that BANKS call when they need money.  I am humbled and amazed at the money the man has.  And to think, while the world was collapsing, he was eating some DQ.  A man after my own heart.  Loser: Dan Heyada as Barney Frank.  Look, I understand that playing Barney is a hard, disgusting job.  Really - I understand.  But Dan should have called up my friend Ballou who does a killllllller impression of the slob.  He even spits while talking, just like B. Frank.  Winner: Tim Geithner.  I was impressed with little Timmy's role in the whole situation.  And I was impressed with how well he and Paulson worked together. Loser: SEC chair Chris Cox. What in the world was wrong with him?  I couldn't understand why he was being so apprehensive, but then I remembered that he was pretty new to the SEC role, coming straight off the Hill.  That's why he was afraid to do anything...he still had the congressman mentality of "I'm not pissing anyone off because I need to be re-elected in two years".

Best quote from the movie: "The British just grin-fucked us".

Did anyone watch?  I'm dying to hear what others think.

Real Housewives of Who Cares
Second episode into the train wreck that is New Jersey.  It's halloween in Franklin Lakes, NJ and you know what that means...another reason to dress slutty and pretend its all for the kids.  I flew through this episode for two reasons. 1. I was exhausted after my nerd rage with Hank Paulson and 2. I just don't care enough.  I didn't think they could find someone vile enough to fill Danielle's shoes after last season, but this new girl Melissa is working hard to fill those Jimmy Choos.  The jealously! The tempers! The fights! Who-whee. These eye-talians are crazy.  We start at the marble mansion of Teresa, or Super T, as she would like to be known by.  Just a nice little afternoon, carving the pumpkins, drinking some cider, discussing the brawl in the christening.  See, gossip travels fast around this part of jersey and everyone has heard the story from the god party.  So some uncouth person brings it up at the pumpkin party, and T starts to tell her story. I really didn't pay attention to what was being said as I got distracted with Caroline's amazingly orange Hermes scarf.  But T said blah, someone else said blah and ten people died of boredom.

Melissa and her beefcake of a husband went over to Kathy and her greasy, Jeff Goldblum of a husband, home for a simple little dinner.  Beefcake didn't dress up as he looked as if he had come straight from the gym.  Melissa however, had come straight from Rue de la Whore in Paris with her bedazzled beret.  And the only topic they can think to talk of is Teresa and all Melissa wants is an apology.  I'm not sure for what exactly though.  I ended up fast forwarding thru this part.  I just couldn't even deal with the beret.

See, the whole story line revolves around the Posche fashion show. It's like a real new york style show, except its not. And its in the Brownstone. To me, Posche looks like some little dumpy store inside a dumpy strip mall, but damn they have some clients. To the dismay of pretty much everyone, Kim D (owner of Posche) and the awful, disgusting, satan of a human being Kim G have returned. Annnnnd instantly Kim G is into the shit. She takes 3 steps into the store, finds someone new to prey on, and instant friends all because Teresa called her old. Um...Kim G you ARE old. And you are disgusting. And you need to act your age. If she was my mother, I would be mortified. So Melissa and Kim G become besties and because she tried on a dress, Kim D asked her to walk in the show. Melissa was all...but I can't, I'm not a model and then 10 seconds later she was all ohh I got this shit.

 Halloween night is here...everyone dressed up their kids and went looking for candy.  Teresa's kids seriously are adorable.  Baby tutti-frutti with the gym teacher outfit? Hysterical.

Beefcake decided to dress up like snooki - though all he really needed was the wig, because the dress was obviously his wife's.  Kim G and Kim D were invited because Melissa thought it would be cool to hang out with old people.  They weirdly talked about Teresa in the bar.  Anyone know what Kathy was supposed to be?
So if you will remember, last year's Posche show is where Danielle got her weave ripped out.  What amazing antics will happen this year, you ask.  Well the tension was whether Teresa would even talk to Melissa - which she did, because she is an adult - but she didn't apologize, so the shit was still going down.  Melissa brought her 2 wicked step sisters and Kim G and the lot of them were hooting and hollering like it was a pig calling contest. Stupid Melissa thought she was something reallllll special and so she walked the runway twice, looking like a damn fool. It was all pretty boring until Kathy decided THIS was the perfect opportunity to ask Teresa why she hadn't apologized.  Now I agree with T on this.  I'm still not sure what she did that caused such animosity.  But when you bring up T's kids - well you have done brought a fight. How DARE you say she left baby spumoni alone. How dare you.  She went running to her mother and her step mother for back up.  It was then that Melissa realized that she was not the center of attention and tried to make haste to the showdown. Caroline, watching quietly from the sidelines, finally had enough.  Mamma bear stepped in and shut the shit down. Dunzo. Over. After everyone had left and mamma bear had cooled down, she thought quietly to herself..."this is it. this is the last season. I just can't handle the drama anymore." And she wept silently wishing Albie was home...because Albie makes everything better.

Best quote of the episode: "Pretending as if we didn't just have an explosive christening."

So glad I'm not from Jersey,

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Well darling. I will try for the umteenth time to post... previous comments on nerd rage were not posting for some reason. John Hurt nailed the role and I have a modicum of respect for Geithner, even though he didn't pay his payroll taxes. So exhilarating... all this high finance...
more later
Lady in Waiting to the Queen of Nerds