Monday, June 6, 2011

"gobblefellas" is the best title ever for a tv show

Is it just me or are all of the Real Housewives franchises starting to suck? I've completely given up on the OC and NYC, which used to be my faves.  I still watch the old reliable ATL and NJ, but I'm having a hard time staying faithful.  You see, when Danielle was on the show, it was like watching the devil incarnate walk around earth...or his natural habitat of new jersey.  But now, its Melissa and her whole God-thing, and her whole praying thing and every time they show her in that pink dress with her fake boobs popping out, I just want to do physical violence to her.  Like punch her in one of her purple eyelids.

It's apparently Thanksgiving in NJ, Teresa forgot half her shirt during her "friendsgiving" and blah, blah, blah. The whole damn show was insanely boring, but made me want turkey and stuffing real bad. The standout from this show was baby portabella other wise known as Melania.  While she has always been my favorite, to watch her PULL the hair on Gia's head made me smile an evil smile. A comforting smile.  A smile that only a sister can of peace and revenge.  A Grinch smile if you will. The little meatball had had enough. Fuck all this "I'm thank full for..." bs. She was having none of it.  She punched poor little cannoli, who I always feel sorry for because she looks like she doesn't belongin this family - like she was taken hostage, right in the face. That one didn't make me smile as much as Gia's mishap, because that little know-it-all had it coming, I'm sure. It makes me smile now just to think of it...and I can't wait to see my sister soon and try the same thing.

Joe and Melissa. Guido and Guidette. The level of gaudiness on this show is so over the top, its almost like a high you have to come down from. There is so much marble, and gold plating, and just awful furniture that you can't really divert your eyes because its everywhere. It attacks you from all sides. But never the less, the devil Melissa could not be outdone by Teresa with the thanksgiving show, and her beef kabob of a husband could not be outdone by his wife.  So as a special surprise...and what woman doesn't love a surprise on thanksgiving when you are cooking for 25 people...he brought in a ....wait for it...waiiiiiitttttt forrrr inflatable rodeo complete with bull.  Niiiiice, classy and real smart because every one of those women were wearing stilettos.  Nails on a pillow filled with air. Lord have mercy. I was waiting for the whole thing to go zipping around like a balloon that has lost air, but no it got worse.  Beef kabob thought his wife would find it so sexual to be on a bull in front of her 20 guest and want to get it on.  Dude...calm down. Get a mistress or something.  One woman's sexual harassment is another woman's night off.

You are probably wondering why I'm not covering what happened before or after these two story lines...and, well its because I don't care.  I really don't.  Somewhere along the way of watching Gabriella get her face knocked in and the chocolate turkeys, all I could think about was how ridiculous this show is and how ridiculous I am for watching this stupid show. Andi it also made me think about mashed potatoes and green bean casserole,so I had to cut it off.  However, if Kathy ever wants to attend any party I throw with all of those patisseries and goodies, then holler at your girl B. Man, she worked it with that tiramisu didn't she. 

Baby boy arrives in town tomorrow morning and I need to look impossibly fresh and adorable, so I bid you all adieu until something ridiculous happens tomorrow. 


1 comment:

maria said...

I turned on NJ to see the vision of Guido riding the fake bull. Immediately turned it off. I'm DONE with them.